Inati f\u00ebmij\u00ebror<\/p>\n
(Pjesa e dyt\u00eb vazhdim nga numri i qershorit)<\/p>\n
Duhet t’i m\u00ebsojm\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs se ai q\u00eb refuzon nuk ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb pretendoj\u00eb. Refuzon t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb nj\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim? Le t’i refuzojm\u00eb nj\u00eb sh\u00ebtitje, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn priste, mjafton q\u00eb kjo t\u00eb b\u00ebhet me qet\u00ebsi. Me k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb i japim f\u00ebmij\u00ebs mund\u00ebsin\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb baz\u00ebn e logjik\u00ebs. Sigurisht refuzimi nuk do jet\u00eb me nj\u00eb fjal\u00eb t\u00eb vetme, q\u00eb t\u00eb iritoj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn, por do jepet dhe shpjegimi i duhur. P.sh. f\u00ebmija refuzon t\u00eb vesh\u00eb pallton. Le t’i shpjegojm\u00eb: “Po nuk veshe pallton do s\u00ebmuresh dhe do mungosh n\u00eb shkoll\u00eb”.<\/p>\n
Esht\u00eb mir\u00eb t\u00eb mos b\u00ebjm\u00eb vazhdimisht premtime dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnime. F\u00ebmija qan dhe b\u00ebrtet, p\u00ebrplas k\u00ebmb\u00ebt dhe p\u00ebr ta pushuar i premtojm\u00eb: “N\u00ebse pushon s\u00eb qari do t\u00eb t\u00eb jap karamele” ose “Po ndenje urt\u00eb do t\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7oj sh\u00ebtitje” ose e kund\u00ebrta “N\u00ebse nuk rri urt\u00eb nuk do hash fruta”. B\u00ebjm\u00eb nj\u00eb lloj marr\u00ebveshje, nj\u00eb lloj kontrate. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb di\u00e7ka q\u00eb duhet ta shmangim. Duhet ta dim\u00eb se d\u00ebnimet dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet veprojn\u00eb kryesisht sipas m\u00ebnyr\u00ebs q\u00eb i p\u00ebrdorim dhe, nga ana tjet\u00ebr, \u00ebsht\u00eb e njohur se edukimi \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr rezultativ kur p\u00ebrdoret me t\u00eb mir\u00eb sesa me t\u00eb keq. Nj\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb q\u00eb f\u00ebmija t\u00eb harroj\u00eb inatin \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t’i t\u00ebrheqim vemendjen e tij me di\u00e7ka tjet\u00ebr p.sh. me nj\u00eb lod\u00ebr ose pun\u00eb, n\u00eb t\u00eb kund\u00ebrt k\u00ebmb\u00ebngulja jon\u00eb tek inati nuk sjell asnj\u00eb rezultat. Le t\u00eb mos harroj\u00eb askush se edhe me f\u00ebmij\u00ebt mund t\u00eb flas\u00ebsh me logjik\u00eb, mjafton t\u00eb gjenden fjal\u00ebt e duhura q\u00eb t\u00eb kuptohen nga f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. F\u00ebmij\u00ebt d\u00ebshirojn\u00eb t\u00eb kuptojn\u00eb dhe \u00ebsht\u00eb detyra jon\u00eb t’u tregojm\u00eb se i marrim seriozisht. E kemi p\u00ebr detyr\u00eb t\u00eb sillemi me m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb zgjuar dhe sjellje t\u00eb k\u00ebndshme k\u00ebshtu q\u00eb i drejtojm\u00eb n\u00eb rezultatin e duhur duke l\u00ebn\u00eb m\u00ebnjan\u00eb inatin e tij. Nj\u00eb aleat yn\u00eb i \u00e7muar \u00ebsht\u00eb koha. Nj\u00eb pedagog i madh ka th\u00ebn\u00eb: “Edukimi \u00ebsht\u00eb kryesisht \u00e7\u00ebshtje durimi”.<\/p>\n
Me k\u00ebt\u00eb rast le t\u00eb krijojm\u00eb forma t\u00eb ndryshme bisedash. Jan\u00eb shum\u00eb rezultative sepse nuk ofendojn\u00eb si nj\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00eb e menj\u00ebher\u00ebshme dhe e drejtp\u00ebrdrejt\u00eb. F\u00ebmija g\u00ebzon t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn t\u00eb zgjedh\u00eb lirsh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb v\u00ebr\u00eb n\u00eb dispozicion veten.<\/p>\n
Nj\u00eb ndikim shum\u00eb t\u00eb madh n\u00eb shpirtin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs luan edhe mjedisi, prandaj ndryshimet jan\u00eb t\u00eb domosdoshme. Nj\u00eb l\u00ebvizje nga qyteti n\u00eb fshat, ose diku gjetk\u00eb, n\u00eb natyr\u00eb, luan nj\u00eb rol t\u00eb madh dhe kurdoher\u00eb \u00e7lodh. Nga kjo mund t\u00eb kemi nj\u00eb p\u00ebrfundim shp\u00ebtimtar dhe t\u00eb zhduket tendenca p\u00ebr acarim. Nj\u00eb ekskursion, disa dit\u00eb pushimi jan\u00eb mjete t\u00eb mira p\u00ebr t\u00eb zhdukur \u00e7do acarim t\u00eb bredsh\u00ebm ose kompleks tek prind\u00ebrit ose f\u00ebmij\u00ebt. F\u00ebmija \u00ebsht\u00eb gjithmon\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00eb dhe kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn shpeshher\u00eb e n\u00ebnvleft\u00ebsojm\u00eb. F\u00ebmija zot\u00ebrohet nga nj\u00eb nevoj\u00eb e madhe veprimtarie t\u00eb cil\u00ebn vullneti i tij e ka t\u00eb pamundur q\u00eb ta n\u00ebnshtroj\u00eb, prandaj duhet ta l\u00ebm\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb si i \u00e7mendur dhe n\u00eb fund t\u00eb fundit ta l\u00ebm\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00eb jo gj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se f\u00ebmij\u00eb. Djali duhet t\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb t\u00eb vritet, t\u00eb hidhet, t\u00eb vrapoj\u00eb, t\u00eb kacavaret.<\/p>\n
Le t\u00eb kufizohemi dhe, n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur, t\u00eb heqim fjal\u00ebn “jo”, se kjo e acaron m\u00eb tep\u00ebr inatin f\u00ebmij\u00ebror. Duhet ta shmangim, ashtu si\u00e7 shmangim ushqimin p\u00ebr nj\u00eb stomak t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, dhe f\u00ebmija le t\u00eb ket\u00eb nj\u00eb qoshe t\u00eb vet\u00ebn ku t\u00eb vendos\u00eb gj\u00ebrat e tij. Me k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb f\u00ebmija ka “mbret\u00ebrin\u00eb e tij” dhe nga ana tjet\u00ebr m\u00ebson t\u00eb respektoj\u00eb gj\u00ebrat e t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve. D\u00ebnimet trupore duhet t\u00eb zhduken, se d\u00ebmtojn\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr dhe, nj\u00eb zem\u00ebrim, e ushqejn\u00eb m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/p>\n
S\u00eb fundi, duhet t\u00eb kemi parasysh dinjitetin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb zhvillim normal t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs \u00ebsht\u00eb e rrezikshme ta p\u00ebrqeshim ose t’i shum\u00ebfishojm\u00eb inatin. F\u00ebmija, dhe ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht, i inatosuri fyhet shpejt. T\u00eb mos guxojm\u00eb p\u00ebrpara shok\u00ebve t\u00eb tij dhe p\u00ebrpara personave t\u00eb tret\u00eb t\u00eb diskutojm\u00eb p\u00ebr difektet e tij, kjo e demoralizon dhe i krijon hidh\u00ebrim. Ndoshta p\u00ebrpiqet q\u00eb p\u00ebrpara t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve t\u00eb mos ta tregoj\u00eb inatin e tij, por tani q\u00eb e m\u00ebsuan p\u00ebr \u00e7far\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqet?<\/p>\n
Ajo q\u00eb do na ndihmoj\u00eb shum\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb respektimi i personalitetit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs dhe ky respektim do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t’i sillemi kurdoher\u00eb me edukat\u00eb, t\u00eb jemi kurdoher\u00eb t\u00eb sinqert\u00eb kundrejt tij, t’i mohojm\u00eb di\u00e7ka pa e fyer, t\u00eb bisedojm\u00eb me t\u00eb, dhe sado e \u00e7uditshme q\u00eb t\u00eb duket, t’i k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb edhe mendimin e tij. Le ta rrethojm\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn me besimin ton\u00eb, se kjo gj\u00eb prek dhe drejton. Nj\u00eb lavd\u00ebrim inkurajon, jep guxim.<\/p>\n
Librat dhe revistat e p\u00ebrshtatshme jan\u00eb mjete t\u00eb \u00e7muara p\u00ebr t’u marr\u00eb f\u00ebmija, jo vet\u00ebm se p\u00ebrmbajtja e tyre u ngjall interes, por edhe leximi i tyre u krijon nj\u00eb \u00e7lodhje. Lodrat dhe preokupimi me pun\u00eb dore pengon rritjen e z\u00ebm\u00ebrimit dhe ndihmon n\u00eb zhdukjen e tij, por duhet t’u shmangemi me \u00e7do kusht lodrave q\u00eb krijojn\u00eb shpirt luftarak, shpirt kund\u00ebrshtimi.<\/p>\n
F\u00ebmija zem\u00ebrak \u00ebsht\u00eb zakonisht f\u00ebmija dinamik. Q\u00ebllimi yn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb si do ta p\u00ebrcjellim gjith\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vullnet n\u00eb sh\u00ebrbim t\u00eb s\u00eb mir\u00ebs dhe kjo do ndodh\u00eb kur ta b\u00ebjm\u00eb aleatin ton\u00eb, prandaj f\u00ebmija ka nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr but\u00ebsin\u00eb ton\u00eb. Le t\u00eb mos marrim kurdoher\u00eb rolin e nd\u00ebshkuesit duke e v\u00ebn\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn n\u00eb pozicionin e fajtorit, le t\u00eb mos d\u00ebshp\u00ebrohemi p\u00ebr \u00e7do gabim t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs dhe le t\u00eb mos i num\u00ebrojm\u00eb gabimet e s\u00eb kaluar\u00ebs. T\u00eb gjitha k\u00ebto nuk sjellin p\u00ebrfitim, nuk prekin, p\u00ebrkundrazi krijojn\u00eb ose kryengrit\u00ebsin e vog\u00ebl ose tipin e mbyllur.<\/p>\n
S\u00eb fundi gj\u00ebja q\u00eb luan nj\u00eb rol kryesor \u00ebsht\u00eb atmosfera n\u00eb familje. Nj\u00eb atmosfer\u00eb e lumtur familjare do na japi f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e mir\u00eb, sepse shum\u00eb bukur e thot\u00eb Dottrens se “nuk ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqij, por ka f\u00ebmij\u00eb fatkeq”. Duhet q\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb lumtur dhe e kemi p\u00ebr detyr\u00eb t’u japim k\u00ebt\u00eb mund\u00ebsi. Nj\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebri e lumtur \u00ebsht\u00eb fuqi p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e m\u00ebvon\u00ebshme. N\u00ebse f\u00ebmij\u00ebt na japin g\u00ebzim le t\u00eb ndjejm\u00eb edhe ne intensivisht detyrimin q\u00eb t’u krijojm\u00eb nj\u00eb atmosfer\u00eb qet\u00ebsie brenda s\u00eb cil\u00ebs do lul\u00ebzojn\u00eb dhe do japin fryte.<\/p>\n
P\u00ebrktheu: Nafsika Melo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Pjesa e dyt\u00eb e nj\u00eb artikulli edukativ mbi inatin f\u00ebmij\u00ebror, p\u00ebrkthyer nga Nafsika Melo. Trajton m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si prind\u00ebrit duhet t\u00eb reagojn\u00eb ndaj inatit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, duke shmangur d\u00ebnimet trupore dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet, dhe duke respektuar personalitetin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"nentitulli":"Pjesa e dyt\u00eb vazhdim nga numri i qershorit","numri":"8 (139)","viti":"2004","muaji":"Gusht","muaji_numer":"8","dita":"","faqet":"[11]","fjale_kyce":"[\"f\u00ebmij\u00eb\", \"inat\", \"edukim\", \"prind\u00ebr\", \"Dottrens\", \"familje\", \"psikologji f\u00ebmij\u00ebsh\", \"disiplin\u00eb\", \"personalitet\"]","permbledhje":"Pjesa e dyt\u00eb e nj\u00eb artikulli edukativ mbi inatin f\u00ebmij\u00ebror, p\u00ebrkthyer nga Nafsika Melo. Trajton m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si prind\u00ebrit duhet t\u00eb reagojn\u00eb ndaj inatit t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, duke shmangur d\u00ebnimet trupore dhe k\u00ebrc\u00ebnimet, dhe duke respektuar personalitetin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs.","autori":"P\u00ebrktheu: Nafsika Melo","kategoria":"Edukim \/ Familje","kryeredaktor":"Thoma Dhima"},"ngjallja_kategoria":[10074],"ngjallja_autori":[10412],"ngjallja_viti":[11122],"ngjallja_kryeredaktor":[9473],"class_list":["post-86505","ngjallja_article","type-ngjallja_article","status-publish","hentry","ngjallja_kategoria-edukim-familje","ngjallja_autori-perktheu-nafsika-melo","ngjallja_viti-11122","ngjallja_kryeredaktor-thoma-dhima"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n