Nj\u00eb nga dit\u00ebt m\u00eb t\u00eb lumtura n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e njeriut \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo e martes\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. T\u00eb sapomartuarit shk\u00eblqejn\u00eb nga lumturia. Nj\u00eb jet\u00eb e re u hapet p\u00ebrpara. Por, ku ta dinin, se pik\u00ebrisht ajo \u00ebsht\u00eb edhe fillimi i nj\u00eb beteje t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme me g\u00ebzime, por dhe me shum\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi e shpesh, me qorrsokake t\u00eb tmerrshme. Le t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi t\u00eb q\u00ebndrojm\u00eb tek disa.<\/p>\n
Steriliteti. Nuk jan\u00eb t\u00eb pakta \u00e7iftet q\u00eb e p\u00ebrjetojn\u00eb. Statistikat tregojn\u00eb se n\u00eb 100, jan\u00eb 15-20 q\u00eb mbeten pa f\u00ebmij\u00eb, por edhe shum\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00eb kan\u00eb v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsi. Vall\u00eb, a e kemi menduar dram\u00ebn e tyre? Shpeshher\u00eb, d\u00ebshira p\u00ebr t\u00eb patur f\u00ebmij\u00eb i drejton ata n\u00eb ekstreme. Mb\u00ebrrijn\u00eb deri n\u00eb divorce. Por edhe kur martesa duron, dit\u00ebt u mbushen me hidh\u00ebrime. M\u00eb t\u00eb guximshmit ia v\u00ebn\u00eb fajin vetes, se di\u00e7ka nuk shkon mir\u00eb tek ata, se jan\u00eb vet\u00eb fajtor\u00eb. Por, m\u00eb pak t\u00eb guximshmit, ia v\u00ebn\u00eb fajin t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve e fillon sherri p\u00ebr diagnoz\u00ebn e sip\u00ebrfaqshme t\u00eb mjekut “sterilitet p\u00ebr arsye t\u00eb paditura”. Dashuria e tyre kalon prov\u00eb t\u00eb fuqishme e t\u00eb dhimbshme.<\/p>\n
Fatkeq\u00ebsit\u00eb e barr\u00ebs. Ekziston dhe ana tjet\u00ebr; gruaja mbetet shtatzan\u00eb, shpresa rritet. Duket se \u00ebndrra p\u00ebr f\u00ebmij\u00eb realizohet. T\u00eb gjith\u00eb parashijojn\u00eb lumturin\u00eb. P\u00ebrgatitjet fillojn\u00eb e “paja” e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs mbush valixhet. Por, n\u00eb \u00e7astin e fundit, vijn\u00eb zhg\u00ebnjimet; kthehen n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi me valixhen plot e me duart bosh… Por, t\u00eb rinj jan\u00eb, do b\u00ebjn\u00eb tjet\u00ebr. S\u00ebrish rilind shpresa, por… harrojn\u00eb t\u00eb konsultohen me mjekun. Nj\u00eb grua shkoi n\u00eb maternitet p\u00ebr t\u00eb lindur 9 her\u00eb dhe vet\u00ebm t\u00eb fundit doli me f\u00ebmij\u00eb. E imagjinoni qorrsokakun q\u00eb krijohet midis \u00e7iftit? Nj\u00eb qorrsokak i mbushur me dhimbje, ankth e plagosje shpirti.<\/p>\n
F\u00ebmija i ve\u00e7ant\u00eb. Sa n\u00ebna t\u00eb p\u00ebrlotura, sa shikime t\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebruara burrash m\u00eb dalin p\u00ebrpara kur i p\u00ebrmend. N\u00ebna e shtr\u00ebngon kurdoher\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebn e saj problematik, me gjith\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e saj. Babai vuan kaq shum\u00eb, sa shpesh as e p\u00ebrqafon. N\u00eb pyetjen sa f\u00ebmij\u00eb keni, ai p\u00ebrgjgjet: Nj\u00eb. Nd\u00ebrsa ka dy e kur kthehet n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi, gjunj\u00ebzohet n\u00eb shtratin e f\u00ebmij\u00ebs tjet\u00ebr e qan me d\u00ebnes\u00eb. Nj\u00eb qorrsokak ky, q\u00eb shpesh prek kufinjt\u00eb e martirizimit. Nj\u00eb dhimbje e heshtur, e fsheht\u00eb, e mbushur me shum\u00eb pyetje p\u00ebr t\u00eb ardhmen, q\u00eb shpesh shoq\u00ebria njer\u00ebzore e b\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr.<\/p>\n
Vdekja. Vdekja e shokut t\u00eb jet\u00ebs son\u00eb, t\u00eb f\u00ebmij\u00ebs, t\u00eb v\u00ebllait…. N\u00eb \u00e7aste t\u00eb tilla nj\u00eb t\u00ebrmet i fuqish\u00ebm na l\u00ebkund qenien. Aksidentet automobilistike e vrasjet. Vitet e fundit, vrasjet e aksidentet kan\u00eb sjell\u00eb humbjen e shum\u00eb jet\u00ebve, sidomos t\u00eb rinjsh. Jemi t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr numrin e madh t\u00eb viktimave. Jan\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb rinj, filizat e familjeve t\u00eb ardhshme, q\u00eb papritur i zhyt\u00ebn familjet e tyre n\u00eb pik\u00ebllim.<\/p>\n
Narkotik\u00ebt. Shekulli yn\u00eb, q\u00eb i premtoi njeriut t\u00eb munduar lumturi, shtroi para rinis\u00eb s\u00eb sotme \u00e7ar\u00e7afin e bardh\u00eb t\u00eb vdekjes. Privilegj i kobsh\u00ebm i epok\u00ebs son\u00eb. I riu, q\u00eb para se t\u00eb shijoj\u00eb g\u00ebzimet, gjen tek vdekja shp\u00ebtimin nga nj\u00eb jet\u00eb e dhimbshme me pak pluhur t\u00eb bardh\u00eb. Njoh nj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb q\u00eb p\u00ebrballonte vdekjen e birit t\u00eb saj t\u00eb vet\u00ebm pik\u00ebrisht k\u00ebshtu, si shp\u00ebtim: “Tani ai shp\u00ebtoi, – m\u00eb tha dhe un\u00eb jetoj hidh\u00ebrimin e vetmis\u00eb, por ankthi mbaroi”.<\/p>\n
A mund ta kuptojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb dhimbje t\u00eb padurueshme?<\/p>\n
Papun\u00ebsia. Kamzhiku i papun\u00ebsis\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnon sot gjith\u00eb njer\u00ebzimin. Kjo dukuri shqet\u00ebsuese godet ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht \u00e7iftet e reja.<\/p>\n
Le t\u00eb mos neglizhojm\u00eb pasojat q\u00eb mund t\u00eb sjell\u00eb n\u00eb fillimet e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb re. Ky qorrsokak familjar \u00e7on n\u00eb nj\u00eb presion, q\u00eb jo t\u00eb gjith\u00eb e durojn\u00eb leht\u00eb. Shpesh krijohen ret\u00eb e para e d\u00ebgjon gruan e re t\u00eb protestoj\u00eb: “Po t\u00eb ishte se do kaloja m\u00eb keq se n\u00eb sht\u00ebpin\u00eb time, m\u00eb mir\u00eb mos martohesha”. Fjal\u00eb t\u00eb hidhura, q\u00eb plagosin personalitetin burr\u00ebror e tronditin “themelet” e martes\u00ebs.<\/p>\n
Qorrsokaket morale. Shpesh jan\u00eb edhe m\u00eb t\u00eb dhimbshmet. Ato sot, jan\u00eb dhe m\u00eb t\u00eb shpeshta, me “lirin\u00eb” q\u00eb mbisundon.<\/p>\n
Ndodhi q\u00eb zjarri dogji sht\u00ebpin\u00eb e bashk\u00eb me t\u00eb u dogj dhe \u00e7ifti i ri e vajza e tyre e vog\u00ebl. Lajm trondit\u00ebs. Nuk kishim guximin t\u00eb shkonim t\u00eb takonim prindrit. Kur vendos\u00ebm, shqet\u00ebsoheshim se \u00e7’do t’u thonim. I gjet\u00ebm shum\u00eb t\u00eb pik\u00eblluar, por t\u00eb qet\u00eb. Nj\u00eb besim i fort\u00eb tek Zoti i jet\u00ebs dhe i vdekjes u jepte fuqi. N\u00eb nj\u00eb \u00e7ast, kur mbaja dor\u00ebn e n\u00ebn\u00ebs n\u00eb dor\u00ebn time e i thosha fjal\u00eb ngush\u00eblluese, m\u00eb p\u00ebshp\u00ebriti: “Bija ime, ekzistojn\u00eb dhimbje m\u00eb t\u00eb k\u00ebqia se vdekja. Q\u00eb s’mund t’i besosh e t\u00eb gjesh ngush\u00ebllim”. E pash\u00eb me habi, pa mundur ta pyes. M\u00eb von\u00eb m\u00ebsova se vajza tjet\u00ebr kishte braktisur burrin e dy f\u00ebmij\u00ebt dhe kish ikur me nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr.<\/p>\n
Qorrsokaket subjektive. Sa t\u00eb tilla krijohen! Shpesh nga mendjeleht\u00ebsia, nga vler\u00ebsimi i keq i gj\u00ebrave, nga egocentrizmi yn\u00eb. Nga zgjidhja e gabuar q\u00eb u japin problemeve. K\u00ebshtu, b\u00ebhet shpesh i pamundur mir\u00ebkuptimi e komunikimi me shokun, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt, v\u00ebllez\u00ebrit, t\u00eb af\u00ebrmit e miqt\u00eb. Sa familje gjenden n\u00eb qorrsokak nga nj\u00eb zem\u00ebrim a shk\u00ebmbim fjal\u00ebsh, nga mungesa e mir\u00ebkuptimit dhe e gadishm\u00ebris\u00eb p\u00ebr ta gjetur at\u00eb.<\/p>\n
F\u00ebmij\u00ebt e prind\u00ebrve t\u00eb divorcuar. E kam jetuar dram\u00ebn e k\u00ebtyre f\u00ebmij\u00ebve, gjakosjen e zemr\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre, q\u00eb nga kopshti e deri tek studentja.<\/p>\n
“Nuk dua as k\u00ebt\u00eb, as at\u00eb”, – thot\u00eb i d\u00ebshp\u00ebruar f\u00ebmija i kopshtit, kur i japin t\u00eb vizatoj\u00eb tem\u00ebn: “K\u00eb dua m\u00eb shum\u00eb”. Edhe studentja 20-vje\u00e7are thot\u00eb: “Nuk mjafton divorci i tyre, por na detyrojn\u00eb edhe ne f\u00ebmij\u00ebt t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb t\u00eb ve\u00e7uar…”. \u00c7’ti them k\u00ebsaj t\u00eb reje. Ku ta bazoj\u00eb ajo besimin tek martesa apo lumturia familjare?<\/p>\n
A ka antihelm p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb k\u00ebto? Sigurisht, po. P\u00ebr \u00e7do shqet\u00ebsim njer\u00ebzor ka zgjidhje. Pas Golgothas\u00eb vjen NGJALLJA. Problemi \u00ebsht\u00eb, n\u00ebse kemi fuqin\u00eb e duhur p\u00ebr t’i p\u00ebrballuar, n\u00ebse mund t\u00eb ndeshemi, me problemet dhe me vetveten.<\/p>\n
Rol t\u00eb r\u00ebnd\u00ebsish\u00ebm, p\u00ebr t\u00eb p\u00ebrballuar v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb ka karakteri yn\u00eb. Nj\u00eb karakter i fort\u00eb mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb rezultate t\u00eb mira. Por mundet q\u00eb edhe nj\u00eb karakter i dob\u00ebt, q\u00eb ka shum\u00eb dashuri dhe mir\u00ebsi, t\u00eb arrij\u00eb rezultate m\u00eb t\u00eb mira. Siguria e madhe tek vetja mund t\u00eb na \u00e7oj\u00eb n\u00eb rrug\u00eb t\u00eb gabuar, ndaj \u00ebsht\u00eb e mira, q\u00eb t’u drejtohemi disa njer\u00ebzve t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, t\u00eb ndri\u00e7uar dhe me p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb e t\u00eb k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb k\u00ebshill\u00ebn e tyre.<\/p>\n
Gjithashtu, nuk harrojm\u00eb edukat\u00ebn q\u00eb ka marr\u00eb secili dhe mjedisin familjar. Ndryshe e p\u00ebrballon qorrsokakun ekonomik nj\u00eb vajz\u00eb q\u00eb jetoi n\u00eb nj\u00eb familje nikoqire, q\u00eb u edukua nga prind\u00ebrit, ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht nga e \u00ebma dhe ndryshe ajo q\u00eb nuk m\u00ebsoi kurr\u00eb \u00e7do t\u00eb thot\u00eb familje.<\/p>\n
Por, shpesh qorrsokaket krijohen edhe nga q\u00ebllimet “e larta” q\u00eb i v\u00ebm\u00eb vetes, t\u00eb cilat tejkalojn\u00eb mund\u00ebsit\u00eb tona. Brenda k\u00ebtyre v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsive, provohet dashuria, sidomos e \u00e7iftit, n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, n\u00ebse besojn\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb, n\u00ebse duron.<\/p>\n
Si\u00e7 e pam\u00eb edhe n\u00eb k\u00ebto qorrsokake ekziston zgjidhje, t\u00eb pakt\u00ebn n\u00eb shumic\u00ebn e atyre subjektive dhe n\u00eb ato morale. Mjaft t\u00eb kemi fuqin\u00eb q\u00eb duhet, mjaft t\u00eb duam e t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb. Edhe kur s’mund t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb asgj\u00eb, kur t\u00eb gjitha rrug\u00ebt duken t\u00eb mbyllura – edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb ka zgjidhje.<\/p>\n
Le t\u00eb gjunj\u00ebzohemi para Dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb Kryq\u00ebzuar. Na e k\u00ebrkoi vet\u00eb KRISHTI: “Ejani tek un\u00eb gjith\u00eb sa jeni t\u00eb lodhur e t\u00eb ngarkuar” (Mat. 11:28), dhe na premton: “Edhe un\u00eb do t’iu \u00e7lodh juve”. Edhe n\u00ebse nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur t\u00eb gjejm\u00eb rrug\u00ebdalje, dashuria e Tij do \u00ebmb\u00eblsoj\u00eb dhimbjen ton\u00eb e pesha do duket m\u00eb e leht\u00eb.<\/p>\n
Ne, sa besojm\u00eb, a nuk kemi par\u00eb edhe mrekulli? Historia e Krishterimit \u00ebsht\u00eb histori mrekullish: T\u00eb paralizuar ecin, t\u00eb verb\u00ebr shohin, t\u00eb vdekur ngjallen. Edhe at\u00ebher\u00eb, edhe tani, edhe kurdoher\u00eb. Vall\u00eb a do na nxjerr\u00eb edhe ne Per\u00ebndia nga qorrsokaku q\u00eb p\u00ebrballojm\u00eb, i cili helmon jet\u00ebn ton\u00eb? Sigurisht, p\u00ebr mrekullin\u00eb duhet nj\u00eb kusht: Besimi. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb v\u00ebrtet i plotfuqish\u00ebm, edhe kur \u00ebsht\u00eb “sa nj\u00eb far\u00eb sinapi”. Po e kemi, egziston kushti. N\u00ebse na mungon – le t\u00eb lutemi: “Shto besimin tek un\u00eb, o Zot…! M\u00eb ndihmo n\u00eb mosbesimin tim”. Dhe do d\u00ebgjojm\u00eb z\u00ebrin e Tij t\u00eb \u00ebmb\u00ebl t\u00eb na siguroj\u00eb: “Ja, jam pran\u00eb teje”.<\/p>\n
V. Papavasiliu<\/p>\n
P\u00ebrktheu: N. Melo<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Reflektim mbi v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb e jet\u00ebs bashk\u00ebkohore – sterilitet, fatkeq\u00ebsi n\u00eb barr\u00eb, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, vdekje, papun\u00ebsi, narkotik\u00eb, aksidente, divorc, qorrsokaket morale e subjektive. \u00c7el\u00ebsi i zgjidhjes \u00ebsht\u00eb besimi tek Krishti dhe lutja: pas Golgothas\u00eb vjen Ngjallja.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"template":"","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"inline_featured_image":false,"nentitulli":"","numri":"2 (89)","viti":"2000","muaji":"Shkurt","muaji_numer":"2","dita":"","faqet":"[11]","fjale_kyce":"[\"qorrsokak\", \"martes\u00eb\", \"familje\", \"sterilitet\", \"narkotik\u00eb\", \"papun\u00ebsi\", \"divorc\", \"vdekje\", \"Krisht\", \"Ngjallje\", \"besim\", \"dashuri\"]","permbledhje":"Reflektim mbi v\u00ebshtir\u00ebsit\u00eb e jet\u00ebs bashk\u00ebkohore - sterilitet, fatkeq\u00ebsi n\u00eb barr\u00eb, f\u00ebmij\u00ebt e ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, vdekje, papun\u00ebsi, narkotik\u00eb, aksidente, divorc, qorrsokaket morale e subjektive. \u00c7el\u00ebsi i zgjidhjes \u00ebsht\u00eb besimi tek Krishti dhe lutja: pas Golgothas\u00eb vjen Ngjallja.","autori":"V. Papavasiliu (p\u00ebrktheu N. Melo)","kategoria":"Mendim teologjik","kryeredaktor":"Thoma Dhima"},"ngjallja_kategoria":[10662],"ngjallja_autori":[10672],"ngjallja_viti":[10644],"ngjallja_kryeredaktor":[9473],"class_list":["post-84946","ngjallja_article","type-ngjallja_article","status-publish","hentry","ngjallja_kategoria-mendim-teologjik","ngjallja_autori-v-papavasiliu-perktheu-n-melo","ngjallja_viti-10644","ngjallja_kryeredaktor-thoma-dhima"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n