<\/p>\n
LUTJA, UDHA DREJT NJOHJES<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n Lutja, p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb e p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n Arkimandrit Sofroni<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n <\/p>\n \u201cO Per\u00ebndi, ti e njeh marr\u00ebzin\u00eb time, dhe fajet e mia nuk t\u00eb jan\u00eb fshehur\u201d (Ps. 68.6). Tani jetoj n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb rr\u00ebnuar, por ti, o Krisht, m\u00eb th\u00ebrret t\u00eb besoj e t\u00eb pranoj zbules\u00ebn q\u00eb Ati na do, si\u00e7 t\u00eb do ty, Biri i tij i vet\u00ebm: \u201cSe vet\u00eb Ati ju do, sepse ju m\u00eb keni dashur. […] Edhe nuk t\u00eb lutem vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr k\u00ebta, por edhe p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb besojn\u00eb mua me an\u00eb t\u00eb fjal\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre. Q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb nj\u00eb, sikurse ti, o At\u00eb, je tek un\u00eb, dhe un\u00eb tek ti, dhe ata t\u00eb jen\u00eb nj\u00eb tek ne; q\u00eb t\u00eb besoj\u00eb bota se ti m\u00eb d\u00ebrgove […] dhe se i deshe ata si\u00e7 m\u00eb deshe mua\u201d (Jn. 16.27; 17.20-23). Besimi yn\u00eb te Krishti na b\u00ebn jasht\u00ebzakonisht guximtar\u00eb. Jo m\u00eb kot i lumuri Pav\u00ebl thot\u00eb se \u201cmarr\u00ebzia e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb e ditur se dituria e njer\u00ebzve\u201d. Ajo q\u00eb ngjan si marr\u00ebzi e mir\u00ebfillt\u00eb p\u00ebr mendjen mishore, p\u00ebr besimtar\u00ebt \u00ebsht\u00eb urt\u00ebsi dhe forc\u00eb, jet\u00eb dhe drit\u00eb (shih I Kor. 1.18-30; 2.14; 3.18-19).<\/span><\/p>\n Por, n\u00ebse guximi p\u00ebr t\u00eb qen\u00eb i krishter\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebr \u00e7do njeri nj\u00eb akt q\u00eb e kap\u00ebrcen mas\u00ebn njer\u00ebzore, \u00e7far\u00eb do t\u00eb thosha p\u00ebr veten time? Q\u00eb n\u00eb mosh\u00ebn time t\u00eb re, kisha vet\u00ebdijen e pamjaftueshm\u00ebris\u00eb sime; nuk kisha siguri, edhe para njer\u00ebzve. Megjithat\u00eb… nj\u00eb Drit\u00eb m\u00eb vizitoi, dhe i besova Krishtit Per\u00ebndi. Pastaj, sipas bes\u00ebs sime, Drita u shfaq edhe me m\u00eb shum\u00eb mbushulli. Dhe besimi im u pasurua me njohje t\u00eb re.<\/span><\/p>\n Megjith\u00ebse realisht isha nj\u00eb \u201chi\u00e7\u201d, Drita e pakrijuar m\u00eb shfaqej pik\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb besimit q\u00eb kisha n\u00eb Krishtin. K\u00ebshtu, mendja kap\u00ebrceu barrier\u00ebn e arsyes, e cila nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e paaft\u00eb t\u00eb kuptoj\u00eb q\u00eb Personi (hipostaza) hyjnor zot\u00ebron nj\u00eb njohje gjith\u00ebp\u00ebrfshir\u00ebse, n\u00eb at\u00eb pik\u00eb sa asgj\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e fsheht\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb qenien kozmike: \u201cPo asnj\u00eb nga ata nuk do t\u00eb bjer\u00eb mbi dh\u00e9, pa urdhrin e Atit tuaj. Po juve edhe qimet e kok\u00ebs ju jan\u00eb t\u00eb num\u00ebruara […] sepse nuk ka gj\u00eb t\u00eb mbuluar q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb zbulohet, dhe gj\u00eb t\u00eb fshehur q\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb dihet\u201d (shih Matth. 10.29-30,26). \u201cEdhe s\u2019ka asnj\u00eb krijes\u00eb t\u00eb padukshme p\u00ebrpara tij, por t\u00eb gjitha jan\u00eb lakuriq dhe t\u00eb zbuluara n\u00eb syt\u00eb e atij\u201d (Hebr. 4.13).<\/span><\/p>\n Lidhjet e mia me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb mor\u00ebn karakter tep\u00ebr personal. Nocioni i m\u00ebkatit ka kuptim vet\u00ebm brenda nj\u00eb marr\u00ebdh\u00ebnieje personale. Jasht\u00eb saj, nuk ka dashuri mes njeriut dhe Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Jasht\u00eb saj nuk ka dhe s\u2019mund t\u00eb ket\u00eb njohje ekzistenciale t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Jasht\u00eb saj, gjith\u00e7ka p\u00ebrpihet nga vdekja, gjith\u00e7ka hijesohet n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb kuptimin e fjal\u00ebs n\u00eb mosqenie.<\/span><\/p>\n Ajo q\u00eb mendoj t\u00eb shkruaj tani ka ndodhur m\u00eb shum\u00eb se gjysm\u00eb shekulli m\u00eb par\u00eb. Ishte nj\u00eb periudh\u00eb e tendosur; edhe t\u00eb them t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn, gjith\u00e7ka ishte e turbullt p\u00ebr mua. Jeta \u00ebsht\u00eb kaq e shkurt\u00ebr, nd\u00ebrsa Per\u00ebndia pafund\u00ebsisht kaq i madh e i larg\u00ebt! Kush do t\u00eb m\u00eb m\u00ebsoj\u00eb t\u00eb shkoj drejt Tij n\u00eb nj\u00eb udh\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos humbas koh\u00eb duke u endur n\u00eb shtigje t\u00eb huaja? K\u00ebrkova njeriun ose njer\u00ebzit q\u00eb mund t\u00eb m\u00eb ndihmonin me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, t\u00eb b\u00ebheshin udh\u00ebrr\u00ebfyesit e mi. Dhe nj\u00eb forc\u00eb, deri at\u00ebher\u00eb e panjohur, zbriti mbi mua – nj\u00eb lutje, t\u00eb cil\u00ebn s\u2019mund ta nd\u00ebrprisja as dit\u00ebn, as nat\u00ebn – dhe natyrsh\u00ebm u b\u00eb mb\u00ebshtetja ime n\u00eb \u00e7do \u00e7ast. Kishte momente kur lutja m\u00eb sillte sqarime, dhe besoj se vinin nga Per\u00ebndia. Do t\u00eb citoja disa shembuj q\u00eb lan\u00eb gjurm\u00eb dhe hodh\u00ebn themelet e jet\u00ebs sime.<\/span><\/p>\n Duke mos e dalluar drejt\u00ebsin\u00eb e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb n\u00eb fatet e njer\u00ebzimit dhe, m\u00eb n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, n\u00eb fatin e \u00e7do njeriu, m\u00ebngoja n\u00eb err\u00ebsirat e padituris\u00eb sime. I ngjaja nj\u00eb f\u00ebmije t\u00eb vog\u00ebl, krejt t\u00eb privuar nga ndihma. Duke ndjer\u00eb nevoj\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar di\u00e7ka, u b\u00ebra i paduruar p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb dhimbjeve n\u00eb shpirt. Prisja ndihm\u00ebn e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Dhe Zoti pati m\u00ebshir\u00eb p\u00ebr padijen time.<\/span><\/p>\n Nuk u plagos nga pakujdesia ime, por si nj\u00eb n\u00ebn\u00eb, pati dhembshuri p\u00ebr mua dhe shpejtoi t\u00eb m\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjej. Kjo nuk ndodhi vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb, por shum\u00eb her\u00eb. Per\u00ebndia veproi nj\u00ebsoj si me Jovin, i cili u sprovua mizorisht dhe e shprehte me forc\u00eb revolt\u00ebn e tij.<\/span><\/p>\n Ja se \u00e7far\u00eb m\u00eb ndodhi nj\u00eb her\u00eb n\u00eb Franc\u00eb, n\u00eb vitet \u201820, para se t\u00eb nisesha p\u00ebr n\u00eb Athos m\u00eb 1925. Isha lutur gjat\u00eb me lot: \u201cGjej mjetin p\u00ebr t\u00eb shp\u00ebtuar bot\u00ebn, sepse jemi t\u00eb korruptuar dhe mizor\u00eb.\u201d Lutja ime ishte e zjarrt\u00eb ve\u00e7an\u00ebrisht p\u00ebr \u2018k\u00ebta t\u00eb vegj\u00ebl\u2019, p\u00ebr t\u00eb varfrit dhe t\u00eb shtypurit. Ndaj t\u00eb gdhir\u00eb, teksa forcat e mia kishin shteruar, e humba lutjen p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast pas k\u00ebtij mendimi: \u201cN\u00ebse kam kaq shum\u00eb dhembshuri p\u00ebr njer\u00ebzimin, me gjith\u00eb energjit\u00eb e shpirtit, si mund ta kuptojm\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb Per\u00ebndi q\u00eb sodit me indiferenc\u00eb vuajtjet e miliona njer\u00ebzve q\u00eb Ai vet\u00eb krijoi? P\u00ebrse lejon t\u00eb kryhen n\u00eb bot\u00eb akte t\u00eb panum\u00ebrta dhune?\u201d I drejtohesha Atij me k\u00ebt\u00eb pyetje t\u00eb \u00e7mendur: \u201cKu je Ti?…\u201d Deri diku si p\u00ebrgjigje d\u00ebgjova n\u00eb zem\u00ebr k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb: \u201cMos ndoshta ti u kryq\u00ebzove p\u00ebr ata?\u201d K\u00ebto fjal\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebmbla, shqiptuar nga Fryma n\u00eb zemr\u00ebn time, m\u00eb trondit\u00ebn: i Kryq\u00ebzuari m\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjej si Per\u00ebndi.<\/span><\/p>\n Nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, qoft\u00eb edhe e shkurt\u00ebr, zakonisht shkon drejt e n\u00eb thelb. Fjala hyjnore i sjell shpirtit nj\u00eb perceptim t\u00eb ri e t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb t\u00eb qenies. Zemra ndien rrjedhjen e nj\u00eb jete plot drit\u00eb. Mendja zbulon papritur kuptime t\u00eb pazbuluara deri n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb. Kur energjia krijuese e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb na prek, ajo na \u2018rikrijon\u2019. Njohja q\u00eb p\u00ebrftohet nga kjo m\u00ebnyr\u00eb nuk ngjan me ndonj\u00eb arsyetim filozofik. N\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb, me perceptimin e realiteteve t\u00eb bot\u00ebs shpirt\u00ebrore, nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb ekzistuari i jepet qenies s\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb t\u00eb njeriut: njohja e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb bashkohet me rrjedh\u00ebn e lutjes dhe t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb p\u00ebr T\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Per\u00ebndia m\u00eb ishte p\u00ebrgjigjur shkurt, por ato pak fjal\u00eb t\u00eb Tij p\u00ebrmbanin nj\u00eb zbules\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonisht t\u00eb gjer\u00eb e t\u00eb thell\u00eb. Le t\u00eb p\u00ebrpiqemi t\u00eb gjejm\u00eb nj\u00eb analogji, q\u00eb u p\u00ebrgjigjet nevojave t\u00eb arsyes son\u00eb. N\u00eb gjendjen ton\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb, u ndam\u00eb nga Per\u00ebndia si me nj\u00eb vel t\u00eb leht\u00eb, t\u00eb paduksh\u00ebm, por nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht dhe t\u00eb padep\u00ebrtuesh\u00ebm. Krejt papritur, me nj\u00eb shenj\u00eb nga Per\u00ebndia, nj\u00eb \u00e7arje ndodhi n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb vel. Duke e v\u00ebn\u00eb syrin n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb t\u00eb \u00e7ar\u00eb, nuk shikojm\u00eb vet\u00ebm at\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn u lut\u00ebm, por n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn perspektiv\u00eb, horizonte t\u00eb gjera hapen para nesh. N\u00ebse syri yn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201ci sh\u00ebndetsh\u00ebm\u201d (Matth. 6.22) dhe n\u00ebse e ruajm\u00eb t\u00eb ngulitur te vizioni q\u00eb na u dha, ai do t\u00eb sodis\u00eb pafund\u00ebsin\u00eb e Mbret\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb ndritshme. At\u00ebher\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm pyetja jon\u00eb, por nj\u00eb seri pyetjesh shtes\u00eb do t\u00eb marrin p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqshme… N\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsin\u00eb hyjnore, t\u00ebr\u00eb linjat paralele, si edhe rrezet e papajtueshme takohen n\u00eb nj\u00eb pik\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Cili qe reagimi im n\u00eb \u00e7astin kur mora p\u00ebrgjigjen nga Per\u00ebndia? Ja se \u00e7far\u00eb mendova: N\u00ebse Per\u00ebndia \u00ebsht\u00eb si\u00e7 e tregoi Krishti i kryq\u00ebzuar, at\u00ebher\u00eb ne – dhe vet\u00ebm ne – jemi q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb fajtor\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb keqen q\u00eb ka mbushur historin\u00eb e njer\u00ebzimit. Per\u00ebndia u shfaq n\u00eb mish, ashtu si Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb: i p\u00ebrulur. P\u00ebrul\u00ebsia \u00ebsht\u00eb atribut i natyrsh\u00ebm i dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb Tij. Mund ta p\u00ebrfytyrojm\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrul\u00ebsia e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, duke th\u00ebn\u00eb se \u00ebsht\u00eb gatishm\u00ebri p\u00ebr t\u00eb pranuar t\u00ebr\u00eb plag\u00ebt e shkaktuara nga qeniet q\u00eb Ai krijoi. Ne jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb e kemi hedhur posht\u00eb Per\u00ebndin\u00eb, por e kemi vrar\u00eb, madje me vdekje t\u00eb turpshme. Njoha n\u00eb frym\u00eb se shkaku i vuajtjeve t\u00eb njer\u00ebzve nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb mungesa e dhembshuris\u00eb s\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, por vet\u00ebm keqp\u00ebrdorimi q\u00eb njeriu i b\u00ebn dhurat\u00ebs s\u00eb liris\u00eb. N\u00eb konfliktin tim me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb, Ai doli fitimtar. N\u00eb fillim, m\u00eb pushtoi nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb e hidhur turpi p\u00ebr mendimin tim marr\u00ebzisht kryene\u00e7: sikur un\u00eb t\u00eb isha m\u00eb i dhembshur se Ai! Ky turp lindi tek un\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb frym\u00eb pendimi, nj\u00eb q\u00ebndrim vetakuzues. Pastaj g\u00ebzimi mbyti gjith\u00e7ka. Zoti jo vet\u00ebm q\u00eb nuk m\u00eb d\u00ebnoi p\u00ebr paturp\u00ebsin\u00eb time, por hodhi mbi kryet e mia bekimin e Tij t\u00eb bollsh\u00ebm. M\u00eb von\u00eb kuptova se Ai kishte b\u00ebr\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb lindte tek un\u00eb kjo lutje plot dhembshuri.<\/span><\/p>\n Nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb e leht\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruaj p\u00ebrvojat shpirt\u00ebrore q\u00eb m\u2019u dhan\u00eb, por po vazhdoj. Jetoja si nj\u00eb njeri gjysmak, midis caqeve t\u00eb dy bot\u00ebve: t\u00eb k\u00ebsaj t\u00eb dukshme dhe asaj t\u00eb padukshme, t\u00eb kuptueshme, qiellore. Duke pohuar se \u201cgjendesha n\u00eb skajet e dy bot\u00ebve\u201d, dua t\u00eb them se ajo q\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodhte, m\u00eb tejkalonte. Nuk ishte iniciativa ime, por e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb s\u00eb gjall\u00eb, n\u00eb duart e shenjta t\u00eb t\u00eb Cilit kisha r\u00ebn\u00eb (shih Hebr. 10.31). N\u00ebse shpirti im po vuante, vuante nga \u00e7udia q\u00eb e kishte pushtuar para Per\u00ebndis\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n P\u00ebrvoja m\u00eb ka treguar se n\u00eb cil\u00ebn pik\u00eb natyra jon\u00eb e zhytur n\u00eb m\u00ebkat \u00ebsht\u00eb inerte. Edhe lutjet, si ajo q\u00eb u p\u00ebrshkrua m\u00eb lart, nuk e sh\u00ebrojn\u00eb menj\u00ebher\u00eb natyr\u00ebn ton\u00eb t\u00eb r\u00ebn\u00eb. N\u00ebn presionin e pareshtur t\u00eb ngjarjeve gjithnj\u00eb e m\u00eb shum\u00eb k\u00ebrc\u00ebnuese t\u00eb shekullit ton\u00eb, shum\u00eb shpesh ndodhesha n\u00eb konflikt me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb. Tani po v\u00eb re se, edhe pse n\u00eb sip\u00ebrfaqe jeta ime zhvillohej pa shkelje t\u00eb dukshme p\u00ebr syt\u00eb e njer\u00ebzve, n\u00eb thell\u00ebsi – shpirt\u00ebrisht – isha dhe jam err\u00ebsir\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Q\u00ebllimi final i lutjes nuk ndryshon gjat\u00eb shekujve. Megjithat\u00eb, pa humbur unitetin e zellit fillestar, ajo nuk ndalet s\u00eb p\u00ebrmir\u00ebsuari – n\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtjen e saj – gjat\u00eb jet\u00ebs. Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb, ajo p\u00ebrqafon bot\u00ebn n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsin\u00eb e saj, her\u00eb-her\u00eb p\u00ebrqendrohet n\u00eb nevojat e \u00e7astit. Situata nga m\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshmet mund t\u2019i sh\u00ebrbejn\u00eb si shtys\u00eb: pendimi personal, dashuria p\u00ebr tjetrin, nd\u00ebrmjetimi p\u00ebr t\u00eb af\u00ebrmin, k\u00ebrkes\u00eb p\u00ebr ndri\u00e7im n\u00eb pasiguri, fal\u00ebnderime Per\u00ebndis\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrkujdesjen e Tij mir\u00ebdash\u00ebse apo shprehje mrekullimi p\u00ebr Shp\u00ebtimtarin, si dhe shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera.<\/span><\/p>\n Si ta prezantojm\u00eb etjen p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb, Drit\u00ebn q\u00eb buron prej Tij, fuqin\u00eb e Tij vepruese te ne? E njoh paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb time p\u00ebr t\u00eb shkruar. Realisht, nuk pushoj s\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebrituri t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn gj\u00eb. Ose bie n\u00eb detaje t\u00eb tep\u00ebrta e t\u00eb panevojshme, ose jam tep\u00ebr konciz.<\/span><\/p>\n M\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb her\u00eb, lutja ime – n\u00ebse do ta quaja k\u00ebshtu at\u00eb q\u00eb m\u00eb ndodhi – u b\u00eb e guximshme p\u00ebrtej \u00e7do gj\u00ebje q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb e pranueshme. Duke par\u00eb vazhdimisht t\u00eb mbret\u00ebroj\u00eb n\u00eb bot\u00ebn mbar\u00eb makthi i dhun\u00ebs shkaktuar \u201cv\u00ebllez\u00ebrve t\u00eb tyre\u201d nga zot\u00ebrinjt\u00eb dhe princat e tok\u00ebs (shih Matth. 23.8), thosha n\u00eb hidh\u00ebrimin e zemr\u00ebs: \u201cP\u00ebrderisa ke krijuar gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb ekziston, dhe pa ty asgj\u00eb nuk erdhi n\u00eb ekzistenc\u00eb (shih Jn. 1.3), a nuk e meritojn\u00eb t\u00eb gjykohen si p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebs gjith\u00eb k\u00ebta kriminel\u00eb t\u00eb ul\u00ebt – q\u00eb arrijn\u00eb t\u00eb derdhin gjakun e miliona njer\u00ebzve mbi t\u00ebr\u00eb tok\u00ebn, p\u00ebr t\u00eb g\u00ebzuar p\u00ebr disa dit\u00eb k\u00ebnaq\u00ebsin\u00eb perverse p\u00ebr t\u00eb dominuar mbi t\u00eb varfrit q\u00eb vuajn\u00eb? Ti vet\u00ebm, Krijuesi i gjith\u00e7kaje, je fajtor p\u00ebr mjerimin e madh t\u00eb tok\u00ebs…\u201d Ky tundim ishte shtyp\u00ebs. Ndodhesha n\u00eb kufirin e d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimit, dhe madje t\u00eb \u00e7menduris\u00eb. Nga d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi shkat\u00ebrrimtar nuk dukej asnj\u00eb rrug\u00ebdalje. Dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, Zoti m\u00eb vizitoi. Paqja e Tij preku zemr\u00ebn time dhe mendimi im ndoqi nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr rrjedh\u00eb: \u201cAti d\u00ebrgoi Birin e tij p\u00ebr t\u00eb shp\u00ebtuar bot\u00ebn dhe ata e vran\u00eb. Por Ai u ngjall duke triumfuar mbi vdekjen dhe q\u00eb nga at\u00ebher\u00eb, si Mbret i p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm, \u201cdo t\u00eb gjykoj\u00eb popujt me drejt\u00ebsi\u201d (Ps. 9.9; shih Hebr. 10.31). \u00c7far\u00eb konkluzioni t\u00eb nxjerrim? Nuk mund ta zgjidhim problemin e s\u00eb mir\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb s\u00eb keqes n\u00eb caqet e tok\u00ebs. Ata q\u00eb kan\u00eb shkuar n\u00eb therore si qengja, \u201cpa kund\u00ebrshtuar t\u00eb keqen\u201d (shih Matth. 5.39; Is. 53.7), do t\u00eb jen\u00eb t\u00eb ngjash\u00ebm me Birin e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb dhe do t\u00eb ngjallen me t\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb lavdi t\u00eb paprishshme (shih Kol. 3.1-4).<\/span><\/p>\n I mjeri un\u00eb, p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb dyt\u00eb luftova me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn perspektiv\u00eb! N\u00eb pjes\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb jet\u00ebs q\u00eb m\u00eb mbeti m\u2019u desh t\u00eb gjeja nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje kategorike p\u00ebr pyetjen, e cila m\u00eb pas duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebhej kritike p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb krishterimin: Si t\u00eb reagosh ndaj persekutimeve q\u00eb ushtron princi (t\u00eb m\u00ebdhenjt\u00eb) i k\u00ebsaj bote? Zoti na ka dh\u00ebn\u00eb hirin t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn e Tij t\u00eb t\u00eb menduarit: n\u00eb kopshtin e Gjethsemanis\u00eb, apostulli Petro u soll \u201cn\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb krejt njer\u00ebzore\u201d (shih Matth. 16.22-23), por Krishti i tha: \u201cV\u00ebre thik\u00ebn t\u00ebnde n\u00eb mill, kup\u00ebn q\u00eb m\u00eb dha Ati t\u00eb mos e pi?\u201d (Jn. 18.10-11).<\/span><\/p>\n Kjo ishte p\u00ebr mua udha p\u00ebrmes s\u00eb cil\u00ebs merrja, drejtp\u00ebrdrejt, nj\u00eb \u201cinformacion\u201d nga lart me an\u00eb t\u00eb lutjes. Po k\u00ebshtu, m\u2019u zbulua kuptimi i Letr\u00ebs drejtuar Efesian\u00ebve (shih kap. 3) mbi thell\u00ebsin\u00eb, gjer\u00ebsin\u00eb dhe lart\u00ebsin\u00eb e planit t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb p\u00ebr ne. Jeta jon\u00eb tok\u00ebsore s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb asgj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr ve\u00e7se nj\u00eb \u00e7ast i shkurt\u00ebr q\u00eb na u dha nga Ati i mir\u00ebsis\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb dep\u00ebrtojm\u00eb n\u00eb dashurin\u00eb kenotike t\u00eb Krishtit, dashuri q\u00eb kap\u00ebrcen mendjen ton\u00eb. Jasht\u00eb k\u00ebsaj rruge, askush s\u2019mund \u201ct\u00eb mbushet me t\u00ebr\u00eb plot\u00ebsin\u00eb e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb\u201d (shih Ef. 3.19). K\u00ebtu posht\u00eb, jemi mbi kryqe, qofshin k\u00ebta ende t\u00eb paduksh\u00ebm; por vet\u00ebm k\u00ebshtu mund t\u00eb kuptojm\u00eb madh\u00ebshtin\u00eb e njeriut dhe hendekun e pakap\u00ebrcyesh\u00ebm t\u00eb Qenies hyjnore. Fjalori njer\u00ebzor s\u2019arrin dot t\u00eb shpreh\u00eb pasurin\u00eb q\u00eb Ati na d\u00ebrgon n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet kryqit.<\/span><\/p>\n Per\u00ebndia \u00ebsht\u00eb i paduksh\u00ebm. Kur Ai vjen, vjen i t\u00ebri, ashtu si \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb Qenien e Tij t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme. Ne nuk e mbajm\u00eb dot. Ai hapet para nesh n\u00eb \u201cvendin\u201d ku ne trokasim: \u201cTrokisni dhe do t\u2019ju hapet\u201d (Lluk. 11.9). Ai thot\u00eb nj\u00eb fjali t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr, por jeta e t\u00ebr\u00eb nuk mjafton p\u00ebr t\u2019i nxjerr\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtjen. E ndiejm\u00eb me p\u00ebrkushtim at\u00ebsin\u00eb e Tij. Shikojm\u00eb se Ai ka etje p\u00ebr t\u00eb na komunikuar jet\u00ebn e amshuar, t\u00eb na b\u00ebj\u00eb t\u00eb ngjash\u00ebm me Birin e Tij – \u201cvulosja e vul\u00ebs besnike t\u00eb Atit\u201d – deri n\u00eb p\u00ebrsosm\u00ebri. Plani i Tij p\u00ebr ne \u00ebsht\u00eb i pakonceptuesh\u00ebm: \u201cnga hi\u00e7i\u201d Ai krijon per\u00ebndi t\u00eb barabart\u00eb me t\u00eb. E gjith\u00eb qenia jon\u00eb p\u00ebrulet para Tij me zem\u00ebr t\u00eb d\u00ebrrmuar, jo me frik\u00eb si p\u00ebrpara nj\u00eb zot\u00ebrie t\u00eb pam\u00ebshirsh\u00ebm, por me dashurin\u00eb e p\u00ebrulur si p\u00ebr nj\u00eb At\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Zoti m\u00eb ruajti nga \u00e7do lidhje q\u00eb zor se shqitesh. K\u00ebshtu, kur fillova t\u00eb ndiej nevoj\u00ebn t\u00eb \u00e7lirohesha nga \u00e7do p\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsi p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn e dikujt tjet\u00ebr, disponoja k\u00ebt\u00eb liri. E fal\u00ebnderoj Per\u00ebndin\u00eb p\u00ebr p\u00ebrkujdesjen e Tij ndaj meje. Isha i qet\u00eb nga mendimi se n\u00ebse do t\u00eb vdisja, s\u2019do t\u00eb d\u00ebmtoja ask\u00ebnd. Mund t\u00eb shkoja pa frik\u00eb p\u00ebrpara cilitdo rrezik, madje edhe deri n\u00eb vdekje. Mendja ime, me gjith\u00eb v\u00ebmendjen e saj, zbriti brenda meje, dhe banoi atje pa dal\u00eb p\u00ebr vite me radh\u00eb. Lutja ime ndryshonte n\u00eb format dhe n\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e saj. Nuk m\u00eb rr\u00ebmbente gjithmon\u00eb me t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtin vrull, por n\u00eb disa \u00e7aste, braktisesha pa mundur dot t\u00eb ngopesha. Edhe t\u00eb doja ta nd\u00ebrprisja k\u00ebt\u00eb lutje n\u00eb ato momente – ende nuk e kisha l\u00ebn\u00eb Franc\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u2019u nisur n\u00eb Athos – nuk do t\u00eb mundja. N\u00eb k\u00ebto dit\u00eb t\u00eb bekuara, isha nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb edhe njeriu m\u00eb fatkeq i tok\u00ebs dhe m\u00eb i lumturi p\u00ebrtej \u00e7do gj\u00ebje.<\/span><\/p>\n Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb nj\u00eb zjarr i paduksh\u00ebm ma prekte maj\u00ebn e kok\u00ebs dhe ma p\u00ebrshkonte me shpejt\u00ebsi trupin deri n\u00eb fund t\u00eb k\u00ebmb\u00ebve. At\u00ebher\u00eb, nj\u00eb lutje e p\u00ebrflakt\u00eb, shoq\u00ebruar nga lot t\u00eb nxeht\u00eb p\u00ebr bot\u00ebn, m\u00eb mb\u00ebrthente.<\/span><\/p>\n Pjes\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb koh\u00ebs, lutesha n\u00eb gjunj\u00eb, me ballin puthitur p\u00ebrdh\u00e9. Kur trupi im s\u2019mundej m\u00eb, dremisja. Megjithat\u00eb, n\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjen time nuk pushoja s\u00eb luturi; nuk ndieja se flija. Vet\u00ebm kur zgjohesha kuptoja se trupi kishte fjetur, sepse pozicioni q\u00eb kishte nuk ishte ai ku lutesha zakonisht.<\/span><\/p>\n Dy her\u00eb, n\u00eb rrug\u00ebt e Parisit, lutja m\u00eb b\u00ebri t\u00eb humbisja perceptimin e bot\u00ebs materiale q\u00eb m\u00eb rrethonte; megjithat\u00eb arrija pa penges\u00eb n\u00eb destinacion. Deri diku, m\u00eb vjen keq q\u00eb s\u2019pata d\u00ebshmitar q\u00eb t\u00eb mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrshkruante sjelljen time n\u00eb t\u00eb tilla raste t\u00eb ngjashme.<\/span><\/p>\n Nj\u00eb her\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, po n\u00eb Paris, mora pjes\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb mbr\u00ebmje p\u00ebr nder t\u00eb nj\u00eb poeti t\u00eb shquar, i cili lexonte veprat e tij. Atje kishte njer\u00ebz t\u00eb zgjedhur. Gjith\u00e7ka e organizuar nga pik\u00ebpamja mondane, n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonisht korrekte. N\u00eb mesnat\u00eb, u ktheva n\u00eb sht\u00ebpi. Rrug\u00ebs pyesja veten: \u00c7\u2019lidhje ka mes k\u00ebtij manifestimi t\u00eb nj\u00eb prej formave nga m\u00eb fisniket t\u00eb krijimtaris\u00eb njer\u00ebzore dhe lutjes? Si hyra n\u00eb dhom\u00eb, fillova t\u00eb lutesha: \u201cShenjt Per\u00ebndi, Shenjt i Fuqish\u00ebm, Shenjt i Pavdeksh\u00ebm…\u201d, dhe ja, nj\u00eb flak\u00eb e leht\u00eb digjte padukurisht dhe ndjesh\u00ebm sip\u00ebrfaqen e fytyr\u00ebs dhe t\u00eb gjoksit tim, nuk e di, ishte e leht\u00eb si ajri, por q\u00eb nuk shkonte me Frym\u00ebn e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n P\u00ebrbrenda po shqyhesha nga joshja p\u00ebr artin dhe nga ajo p\u00ebr lutjen. Kjo e fundit fitoi mbi pasionin e piktur\u00ebs, por s\u2019ishte as e leht\u00eb dhe as e shpejt\u00eb. M\u00eb pas, n\u00eb Institutin e Theologjis\u00eb, lutja m\u00eb pengonte t\u00eb p\u00ebrqendroja v\u00ebmendjen n\u00eb l\u00ebnd\u00ebt q\u00eb m\u00ebsoheshin. M\u2019u desh t\u00eb luftoja kund\u00ebr k\u00ebsaj pengese t\u00eb pazakont\u00eb, por q\u00eb n\u00eb vetvete kishte vler\u00eb t\u00eb madhe. Jet\u00ebn time n\u00eb Institut e thjeshtonte fakti q\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb dhom\u00eb m\u00eb vete mbi apartamentet e profesor\u00ebve; atje mund t\u00eb lutesha n\u00eb pozicionin q\u00eb e kisha zakon. Me gjith\u00eb interesin p\u00ebr shkencat religjioze, nevoja ime p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebndruar n\u00eb lutje haste pengesa. Prandaj u nisa p\u00ebr n\u00eb Malin Athos.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb Malin e Shenjt\u00eb, jeta ime gjeti rrug\u00ebn e saj. Pothuajse \u00e7do dit\u00eb, pas Liturgjis\u00eb, isha i mbushur me g\u00ebzim paskal. Sado e \u00e7uditshme q\u00eb t\u00eb duket kjo, lutja e pand\u00ebrprer\u00eb, si shp\u00ebrthim vullkanik, buronte nga nj\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebrim i thell\u00eb q\u00eb ma kishte pushtuar zemr\u00ebn. Dy gjendje, n\u00eb dukje diametralisht t\u00eb kund\u00ebrta, bashkekzistonin brenda meje. Shkruaj t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebn e past\u00ebr. Edhe un\u00eb vet\u00eb nuk kuptoja se \u00e7\u2019po m\u00eb ndodhte. Nga pamja e jashtme, nuk isha m\u00eb pak i lumtur se shumica e njer\u00ebzve.<\/span><\/p>\n M\u00eb von\u00eb gj\u00ebrat u kthjelluan: Zoti m\u00eb kishte dh\u00ebn\u00eb hirin e pendimit (shih Lluk. 24.47). Po, v\u00ebrtet ishte nj\u00eb hir. Sapo d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi zvet\u00ebnohej brenda meje, dhe lutja vakej, vdekja ma pushtonte zemr\u00ebn. Nga pendimi qenia ime u zgjerua deri atje sa shpirti m\u00eb prekte edhe ferrin, edhe Mbret\u00ebrin\u00eb. Q\u00eb kur shp\u00ebrtheu Lufta e Par\u00eb Bot\u00ebrore (1914-1918), duke d\u00ebgjuar lajmet p\u00ebr miliona t\u00eb vdekur n\u00eb front, e gjith\u00eb qenia kozmike shfaqej n\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjen time e zhytur n\u00eb err\u00ebsirat e padep\u00ebrtueshme t\u00eb absurdes. Megjithat\u00eb, nuk mund ta pranoja, as vdekjen, as absurden. At\u00ebher\u00eb, m\u00eb erdhi ky mendim, gjysm\u00eb ide, gjysm\u00eb ndjesi: n\u00ebse do t\u00eb zhdukesha plot\u00ebsisht, gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb kam njohur dhe kam dashur, gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb gjall\u00ebron dhe m\u00eb frym\u00ebzon, absolutisht gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb pozitive, madje vet\u00eb Per\u00ebndia, do t\u00eb vdiste tek un\u00eb dhe p\u00ebr mua. Kjo p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb ishte tmerr\u00ebsisht e fort\u00eb. Ajo mori trajt\u00ebn e nj\u00eb intuite, e cila mund t\u00eb formulohet k\u00ebshtu: \u201cuni\u201d njer\u00ebzor (njeriu si hipostaz\u00eb) mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet qendra, ena e \u00e7do gj\u00ebje q\u00eb ekziston. Jetoja n\u00eb dy bot\u00eb. E perceptoja nj\u00ebr\u00ebn me an\u00eb t\u00eb shikimit, t\u00eb d\u00ebgjimit, dhe t\u00eb shqisave t\u00eb tjera trupore. Jetoja n\u00eb tjetr\u00ebn vet\u00ebm me frym\u00eb; atje, isha gjith\u00eb vesh, duke pritur; e mprihja \u201cv\u00ebshtrimin\u201d tim, por shikoja me sy t\u00eb tjer\u00eb… K\u00ebto dy bot\u00eb, kaq t\u00eb ndryshme, nuk ndaheshin n\u00eb lutje. Dit\u00ebn lutja rridhte n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e dukshme; nat\u00ebn m\u00eb pushtonte n\u00eb nj\u00eb \u201csfer\u00eb shpirt\u00ebrore\u201d (s\u2019di si ta quaj k\u00ebt\u00eb pafund\u00ebsi q\u00eb m\u00eb shtr\u00ebngonte). Kur lexoja Ungjillin, t\u00eb gjitha fjal\u00ebt m\u00eb dukeshin t\u00eb njohura, por nuk e kapja dot kuptimin e tyre t\u00eb fshehur te vet\u00eb Qenia hyjnore. P\u00ebr mua nj\u00eb gj\u00eb ishte e qart\u00eb: gjith\u00e7ka \u00ebsht\u00eb te Krishti, Biri i Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, dhe vet\u00ebm n\u00eb T\u00eb. Dhe At\u00eb e lusja, i th\u00ebrrisja edhe Atit me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb Shpirti i s\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs, q\u00eb buron prej Tij, t\u00eb zbriste mbi mua dhe t\u00eb m\u00eb drejtonte drejt t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00ebs s\u00eb plot\u00eb (shih Jn. 16.13,26). K\u00ebrkimi im p\u00ebr Deus absconditus (Per\u00ebndia i fshehur) gjeti jehon\u00eb n\u00eb Dhiat\u00ebn e Vjet\u00ebr; atje vura re shum\u00eb shprehje p\u00ebr t\u00eb formuluar nevojat e mia. Shp\u00ebrthimet e indinjat\u00ebs s\u00eb Jovit ishin t\u00eb af\u00ebrta p\u00ebr mua. Nxirrja r\u00ebnkime si profet\u00ebt q\u00eb jetuan para Krishtit. G\u00ebrmoja n\u00ebp\u00ebr Psalmet frym\u00ebzimin p\u00ebr lutjen. Ndon\u00ebse, realisht m\u00ebsoja Dhiat\u00ebn e Re, p\u00ebrmes prizmit t\u00eb saj perceptoja pjes\u00ebn tjet\u00ebr prej nga vjen. Etja ime p\u00ebr t\u00eb njohur Per\u00ebndin\u00eb ishte e pashuar. Cilado q\u00eb t\u00eb ishte koh\u00ebzgjatja e lutjes, sado t\u00eb thella t\u00eb ishin psher\u00ebtimat e mia, qenia ime mbetej e pak\u00ebnaqur. Kjo ishte \u201ckupa\u201d ime n\u00eb Malin Athos; n\u00eb t\u00eb, hidh\u00ebrimi dhe g\u00ebzimi p\u00ebrziheshin, nj\u00ebra duke p\u00ebrmbajtur tjetr\u00ebn. Para meje, nuk kishte rrug\u00ebdalje: i t\u00ebri isha n\u00eb shushatje dhe dhimbje. Por pik\u00ebrisht n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb atmosfer\u00eb t\u00eb dhimbjes shpirt\u00ebrore vjen edhe kuptimi i madh\u00ebshtis\u00eb s\u00eb njeriut. Por kjo dhimbje e shenjt\u00eb a nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb nga rrug\u00ebt p\u00ebrmes t\u00eb cilave Per\u00ebndia i Shum\u00eblart\u00eb komunikon pa nd\u00ebrmjet\u00ebs me krijes\u00ebn e vet, duke i dh\u00ebn\u00eb pak nga pak njohjen jo vet\u00ebm t\u00eb qenies kozmike t\u00eb krijuar, por edhe at\u00eb t\u00eb Vetes?<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb momentin ku Zoti i gjall\u00eb iu shfaq sh\u00ebn Siluanit, k\u00ebtij i ishte dh\u00ebn\u00eb t\u00eb njihte me t\u00ebr\u00eb qenien e tij \u201cp\u00ebrul\u00ebsin\u00eb e pap\u00ebrshkrueshme t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb\u201d. Fjala e starecit ishte me dobi p\u00ebr shum\u00eb veta, edhe p\u00ebr mua. K\u00ebshtu, fal\u00eb tij, kuptova se n\u00eb filles\u00ebn e t\u00eb gjitha tragjedive t\u00eb njer\u00ebzimit gjendet r\u00ebnia n\u00eb krenari. Ky pasion \u00ebsht\u00eb thelbi i vet\u00eb ferrit, i thell\u00ebsive satanike. Nd\u00ebrsa shkruaj, nj\u00eb episod i jet\u00ebs m\u00eb vjen nd\u00ebr mend, duke m\u00eb ngjallur shum\u00eb turp: fryma blasfemuese dhe ziliqare m\u00eb sugjeroi nj\u00eb dit\u00eb, para takimit me starecin, k\u00ebt\u00eb mendim: \u201cP\u00ebrse Krishti \u00ebsht\u00eb Biri i vet\u00ebm dhe jo un\u00eb?\u201d Kjo zgjati p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast, por nj\u00eb djegie ther\u00ebse ma preku zemr\u00ebn. Per\u00ebndia m\u00eb shp\u00ebtoi. Dhe p\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, misteri i t\u00eb gjitha r\u00ebnieve shpalosej p\u00ebrpara meje.<\/span><\/p>\n Per\u00ebndia m\u00eb shp\u00ebtoi, dhe dashuria ime p\u00ebr T\u00eb u thellua. U nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsova p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb se askush nuk shp\u00ebton me forcat e veta. Askush s\u2019mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb i sigurt se ky apo ai mendim q\u00eb i erdhi nuk do ta zot\u00ebroj\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00eb. N\u00eb shkret\u00ebtir\u00eb, Zoti doli fitimtar n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb tundimet e t\u00eb ligut (shih Matth. 4.1-11).<\/span><\/p>\n Per\u00ebndia m\u00eb shp\u00ebtoi, por m\u00eb tmerronte fakti se t\u00eb tilla mendime mund t\u00eb lindnin p\u00ebrs\u00ebri tek un\u00eb. Mendoja: \u201cS\u2019ka shpres\u00eb shp\u00ebtimi p\u00ebr mua… \u00cbsht\u00eb e pamundur p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb marr\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsi k\u00ebshtu si jam un\u00eb (shih Jn. 17.21-23). Po, do t\u00eb ishte shum\u00eb e v\u00ebshtir\u00eb t\u00eb isha me T\u00eb, vet\u00ebm n\u00ebse do luftoja vazhdimisht kund\u00ebr pasioneve t\u00eb mia.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Providenca hyjnore tregoi v\u00ebmendje t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb ndaj meje. N\u00eb \u00e7astin e duhur kur kisha nevoj\u00eb, Zoti lejoi t\u00eb takoja Siluanin. Fal\u00eb tij, nj\u00eb kthes\u00eb vendimtare kulmoi n\u00eb jet\u00ebn time t\u00eb brendshme. Ai m\u00eb shpjegoi se si \u201cta mbaja mendjen n\u00eb ferr dhe t\u00eb mos d\u00ebshp\u00ebrohesha\u201d. E madhe \u00ebsht\u00eb mir\u00ebnjohja ime ndaj atit, starecit tim. Pash\u00eb se n\u00eb t\u00eb shkuar\u00ebn, Zoti m\u00eb kishte udh\u00ebhequr drejt t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtit q\u00ebndrim t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm, por q\u00eb un\u00eb kisha qen\u00eb tep\u00ebr i trash\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb kuptuar se ishte Per\u00ebndia Ai q\u00eb me udh\u00ebhiqte. N\u00eb saje t\u00eb Siluanit, fillova t\u00eb njihja udh\u00ebt e Zotit dhe, plot frik\u00eb e dridhje e bekoj Emrin e Tij t\u00eb shenjt\u00eb:<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb m\u00eb do ndonj\u00eb, fjal\u00ebn time do ta ruaj\u00eb (Jn. 14.23).<\/span><\/p>\n Ai q\u00eb ka porosit\u00eb e mia dhe i ruan, ky \u00ebsht\u00eb ai q\u00eb m\u00eb do (Jn. 14.21).<\/span><\/p>\n Ai q\u00eb s\u2019m\u00eb do, fjal\u00ebt e mia nuk i ruan (Jn. 14.24).<\/span><\/p>\n Ai q\u00eb m\u00eb hedh posht\u00eb, dhe nuk pret fjal\u00ebt e mia, ka se kush ta gjykoj\u00eb; sepse nuk erdha t\u00eb gjykoj bot\u00ebn, po q\u00eb t\u00eb shp\u00ebtoj bot\u00ebn (Jn. 12.48).<\/span><\/p>\n Edhe n\u00eb Malin Athos, si\u00e7 m\u00eb kishte ndodhur edhe para se t\u00eb b\u00ebhesha murg, lutja ime m\u00eb shum\u00eb se nj\u00eb her\u00eb u nd\u00ebrpre nga mendimet blasfemuese. K\u00ebshtu, nj\u00eb her\u00eb kur po i n\u00ebnshtrohesha nj\u00eb gjykimi t\u00eb dhimbsh\u00ebm t\u00eb fjal\u00ebs s\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, me gjith\u00eb p\u00ebrpjekjet e mia, ndjeva paaft\u00ebsin\u00eb time t\u00eb madhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb q\u00ebndruar n\u00eb frym\u00ebn e urdh\u00ebrimeve t\u00eb Tij. Ja fjal\u00ebt e pamenda q\u00eb thash\u00eb: \u201cS\u2019ke t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00eb gjykosh. Q\u00eb t\u00eb jesh ligj\u00ebrisht gjykat\u00ebsi im, duhet t\u00eb jesh n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjtat kushte si un\u00eb…<\/span><\/p>\n Si Qenie e p\u00ebrjetshme, je pafund\u00ebsisht i fuqish\u00ebm, nd\u00ebrsa un\u00eb, n\u00eb gjendjen time si krijes\u00eb, jam si nj\u00eb krimb.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n Lutja ime drejtuar Per\u00ebndis\u00eb \u201cn\u00eb p\u00ebrgjith\u00ebsi\u201d, ishte e padenj\u00eb, por megjithat\u00eb mora nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje n\u00eb zem\u00ebr: \u201cAti nuk gjykon asnj\u00eb. Ai ia dor\u00ebzoi Birit gjykimin e gjith\u00e7kaje […], sepse ai \u00ebsht\u00eb Biri i njeriut\u201d (shih Jn. 5.22-27). Deri n\u00eb at\u00eb koh\u00eb i kisha lexuar k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb shum\u00eb her\u00eb, por nuk i kisha kuptuar ashtu. Isha i turbulluar. M\u00eb erdhi turp kur arrita t\u00eb kuptoj se kisha jetuar gjithmon\u00eb n\u00eb kushte shum\u00eb m\u00eb t\u00eb lehta se Krishti kur ishte mbi tok\u00eb. N\u00eb t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, Ai ka t\u00eb drejt\u00eb t\u00eb gjykoj\u00eb bot\u00ebn mbar\u00eb; vuajtjet e kujtdoqoft\u00eb s\u2019mund t\u2019i kap\u00ebrcejn\u00eb ato t\u00eb Krishtit. Nga ana e jashtme, shum\u00eb veta kan\u00eb vuajtur dhe ende po kalojn\u00eb mundime t\u00eb llahtarshme n\u00eb dhomat e torturave n\u00ebp\u00ebr burgjet bashk\u00ebkohore; por nga ana e cil\u00ebsis\u00eb, ferri i Krishtit – \u201cferri i dashuris\u00eb\u201d – \u00ebsht\u00eb m\u00eb i dhimbsh\u00ebm se gjith\u00eb t\u00eb tjer\u00ebt.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cAti […] i dha Birit gjykimin e bot\u00ebs mbar\u00eb, sepse ai \u00ebsht\u00eb Biri i njeriut.\u201d Ku konsiston ky gjykim? Tek ajo q\u00eb na tregoi, se \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur p\u00ebr njeriun t\u00eb zbatoj\u00eb porosin\u00eb e Atit n\u00eb \u00e7far\u00ebdo rrethane. Nuk mund t\u00eb nxjerr si justifikim dob\u00ebsin\u00eb time \u201cnjer\u00ebzore\u201d. Po k\u00ebshtu, ata q\u00eb e kan\u00eb ndjekur Krishtin gjat\u00eb jet\u00ebs s\u00eb Tij tok\u00ebsore kan\u00eb marr\u00eb t\u00eb drejt\u00ebn t\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb bot\u00ebn me T\u00eb: \u201cA nuk e dini se shenjtor\u00ebt do t\u00eb gjykojn\u00eb bot\u00ebn?\u201d (I Kor. 6.2). Apostulli Petro i k\u00ebrkoi Zotit: \u201cJa ne tek i lam\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha dhe erdh\u00ebm pas teje. Vall\u00eb, \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebr ne? Edhe Jisui u tha atyre: Me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb po ju them juve, se ju q\u00eb m\u00eb erdh\u00ebt pas, n\u00eb krijes\u00ebn e re, kur t\u00eb rrij\u00eb i Biri i njeriut mbi fronin e lavdis\u00eb s\u00eb tij, do t\u00eb rrini edhe ju mbi dymb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb frone duke gjykuar t\u00eb dymb\u00ebdhjet\u00eb fiset e Izraelit (Matth. 19.27-28).<\/span><\/p>\n P\u00ebrse ndodh k\u00ebshtu? P\u00ebrgjigjen e k\u00ebsaj pyetjeje e gjejm\u00eb n\u00eb Ungjill: a) Prind\u00ebrit e t\u00eb verbrit q\u00eb prej lindjes u druheshin judenjve, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt kishin lidhur fjal\u00eb se n\u00ebse \u201cdikush do ta pohonte Jisuin p\u00ebr Krisht [d.m.th. Mesin\u00eb], do t\u00eb nxirrej jasht\u00eb sinagog\u00ebs\u201d (Jn. 9.22.34); b) \u201cPor edhe prej t\u00eb par\u00ebve shum\u00eb veta besuan; po nga frika e farisenjve nuk rr\u00ebfenin, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos i nxirrnin jasht\u00eb sinago g\u00ebs\u201d (Jn. 12.42); c) \u201cDo t\u2019ju nxjerrin nga sinagogat; v\u00ebrtet vjen nj\u00eb or\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn kushdo q\u00eb do t\u2019ju vras\u00eb do t\u00eb pandeh\u00eb se i sh\u00ebrben Per\u00ebndis\u00eb\u201d (Jn. 16.2). N\u00eb at\u00eb periudh\u00eb, rreziku i izolimit social nuk ishte i vog\u00ebl. Megjithat\u00eb, apostujt mor\u00ebn vendim p\u00ebr nj\u00eb akt t\u00eb till\u00eb heroik. Pothuajse q\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb u vran\u00eb p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb predikimit t\u00eb Ungjillit. Prej k\u00ebtej buron edhe \u201ce drejta\u201d e tyre p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjykuar ata q\u00eb nuk e ndoq\u00ebn Krishtin.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cSe vet\u00eb Ati ju do, sepse ju m\u00eb keni dashur\u201d (Jn. 16.27). Jo pa trishtim kujtoj vitet e rinis\u00eb sime, kur kuptimi i k\u00ebtyre fjal\u00ebve t\u00eb shenjta m\u00eb kishte dal\u00eb nga mendja. Thosha me vete: P\u00ebr shekuj, fjal\u00eb t\u00eb panum\u00ebrta q\u00eb vinin nga qielli jan\u00eb p\u00ebrs\u00ebritur n\u00eb kombinimet m\u00eb t\u00eb ndryshme, por ato nuk kan\u00eb kumbuar jehon\u00ebn e d\u00ebshiruar te zemrat e ngurt\u00ebsuara, te mendimi i pandjesh\u00ebm p\u00ebr realitetet e bot\u00ebs hyjnore. P\u00ebr m\u00eb tep\u00ebr, kishte shum\u00eb raste ku k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb ishin dh\u00ebn\u00eb prej s\u00eb larti, porsi bubullima duke shkundur zemrat e njer\u00ebzve dhe me vet\u00ebtima q\u00eb ndri\u00e7ojn\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjen e tyre. Ato zbrit\u00ebn nga Mbret\u00ebria e fshehur mbi tok\u00eb si nj\u00eb zbulim, duke na sjell\u00eb shp\u00ebtimin dhe duke na folur p\u00ebr urt\u00ebsin\u00eb e pamas\u00eb t\u00eb Atit ton\u00eb qiellor, p\u00ebr dashurin\u00eb e Tij p\u00ebr ne dhe p\u00ebr misterin e madh t\u00eb Qenies.<\/span><\/p>\n Gjat\u00eb shekujve, sigurisht, k\u00ebto fjal\u00eb t\u00eb shenjta u shqiptuan, por pa v\u00ebmendjen e duhur; ndoshta dhe p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb arsye e humb\u00ebn fuqin\u00eb e tyre t\u00eb m\u00ebparshme, at\u00ebher\u00eb kur ato u shfaq\u00ebn p\u00ebr her\u00eb t\u00eb par\u00eb n\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegjen e profet\u00ebve, t\u00eb apostujve dhe t\u00eb shenjtor\u00ebve. A do t\u00eb gjejm\u00eb mjete t\u00eb tjera p\u00ebr t\u00eb shprehur kuptimin e thell\u00eb t\u00eb njohjes q\u00eb na u dha nga Per\u00ebndia i Plotfuqish\u00ebm? Dashuria jon\u00eb p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb k\u00ebrkon t\u00eb shprehet n\u00eb format ku energjia vitale e tyre t\u00eb jet\u00eb e aft\u00eb t\u2019i rezistoj\u00eb koh\u00ebs q\u00eb shkat\u00ebrron gjith\u00e7ka.<\/span><\/p>\n Para syve tan\u00eb kryhet mrekullia gjigante e krijimit t\u00eb bot\u00ebs, e krijimit t\u00eb \u2018per\u00ebndive\u2019 (shih Jn. 10.34; Ps. 81.6), e cila ende nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrfunduar (shih Jn. 5.17). \u201cP\u00ebrmbushja\u201d \u00ebsht\u00eb premtuar p\u00ebr jet\u00ebn q\u00eb do t\u00eb vij\u00eb. Megjithat\u00eb, q\u00eb tani, kur Drita e pakrijuar zbret mbi ne, kjo l\u00ebvizje shpirt\u00ebrore ngjall mrekullim mu n\u00eb thell\u00ebsi t\u00eb shpirtit ton\u00eb dhe e lart\u00ebson mendimin drejt Mbret\u00ebris\u00eb q\u00eb na u premtua.<\/span><\/p>\n Fitimi i Mbret\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb Atit lidhet me shum\u00eb vuajtje (shih Matth. 11.12; 25.34). Zemra provon dhimbje ther\u00ebse kur nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohet p\u00ebr humbjen q\u00eb p\u00ebson nga njeriu. E kam fjal\u00ebn p\u00ebr dhimbjen shpirt\u00ebrore, metafizike, dhe do doja q\u00eb lexuesi t\u00eb m\u00eb kuptonte drejt. N\u00eb gjuh\u00eb, gjithmon\u00eb ka nj\u00eb lloj rrjedhshm\u00ebrie; kur eksperienca ndryshon, p\u00ebrmbajtja e koncepteve dhe kuptimi i fjal\u00ebve modifikohen gjithashtu.<\/span><\/p>\n Dhimbjet q\u00eb ndien nj\u00eb asket i krishter\u00eb n\u00eb zemr\u00ebn e tij nuk jan\u00eb fenomen patologjik. Ato shkaktohen \u201corganikisht\u201d nga dashuria p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn vuan. Ato nuk kultivohen – kjo do t\u00eb ishte nj\u00eb prirje drejt dolorizmit psikik t\u00eb s\u00ebmur\u00eb. Ato nuk jan\u00eb pasoj\u00eb e konflikteve psikologjike, as rezultati i k\u00ebtij apo atij pasioni jo t\u00eb k\u00ebnaqur. Ato jan\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00eb natyre tjet\u00ebr. Lindja jon\u00eb n\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsi m\u00eb Per\u00ebndin\u00eb k\u00ebrkon shum\u00eb mund. Profeti Isaia e ka shprehur n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb madh\u00ebshtore k\u00ebt\u00eb duke th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cAshtu si nj\u00eb grua me barr\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb gati p\u00ebr t\u00eb lindur dhe p\u00ebrp\u00eblitet e ul\u00ebrin nga t\u00eb prerat q\u00eb ka, k\u00ebshtu kemi qen\u00eb ne para teje, o Zot. Jemi ngjizur, kemi ndjer\u00eb dhimbje, ashtu sikur t\u00eb kishim p\u00ebr t\u00eb lindur; por lind\u00ebm mbi tok\u00eb frym\u00ebn e shp\u00ebtimit t\u00ebnd\u201d (Is. 26.17-18). Apostull Pavli shkruante te Galatian\u00ebt: \u201cDjemt\u00eb e mi, p\u00ebrs\u00ebri kam dhimbje lindjeje p\u00ebr ju, deri sa t\u00eb formohet Krishti tek ju\u201d (Gal. 4.19). Mund t\u00eb p\u00ebrmendim pasazhe t\u00eb shumta t\u00eb ngjashme marr\u00eb nga Shkrimi i Shenjt\u00eb dhe nga veprat e Et\u00ebrve t\u00eb shenjt\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Shpirti yn\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb i s\u00ebmur\u00eb, por kjo s\u00ebmundje shtrihet n\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb njeriun: n\u00eb zem\u00ebr, n\u00eb trup. \u201cI gjith\u00eb\u201d njeriu vuan kur q\u00ebndron para Per\u00ebndis\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm, por k\u00ebto vuajtje nuk vrasin, ato japin jet\u00eb. Torturat e shpirtit n\u00eb esenc\u00ebn e tyre jan\u00eb metafizike. I p\u00ebrkasin fush\u00ebs s\u00eb ndritshme t\u00eb pavdek\u00ebsis\u00eb. Fal\u00eb tyre, ngjitemi nga limitet e materiales, p\u00ebr n\u00eb bot\u00ebn e Drit\u00ebs s\u00eb pakrijuar (shih Jn. 16.20-23).<\/span><\/p>\n Nuk mjafton t\u00eb jesh intelektualisht i bindur p\u00ebr hyjnin\u00eb e Krishtit q\u00eb t\u00eb kuptosh gjith\u00e7ka me sakt\u00ebsi. Ende \u00ebsht\u00eb e nevojshme t\u00eb b\u00ebsh maksimumin e p\u00ebrpjekjeve q\u00eb t\u00eb jetosh sipas fjal\u00ebs s\u00eb Tij. N\u00eb ecurin\u00eb e k\u00ebtij asketizmi, duke dalluar dimensionet kozmike t\u00eb r\u00ebnies son\u00eb, n\u00eb vijim duhet t\u00eb kalojm\u00eb p\u00ebrmes lutjes s\u00eb gjat\u00eb p\u00ebr pendim. Vet\u00ebm at\u00ebher\u00eb do t\u00eb na jepet t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb shikojm\u00eb te Krishti: nj\u00eb p\u00ebrulje ekstreme t\u00eb vetes (shih Fil. 2.6); m\u00eb pas, do t\u00eb gjykohemi t\u00eb denj\u00eb p\u00ebr ardhjen e \u201cfuqis\u00eb prej s\u00eb larti\u201d (Lluk. 24.49), qoft\u00eb n\u00eb gjuh\u00eb zjarri, qoft\u00eb si shk\u00eblqim nga Drita e Thavorit. Dhe at\u00ebher\u00eb do t\u00eb na zbulohet kuptimi i v\u00ebrtet\u00eb i \u201clajmit t\u00eb mir\u00eb\u201d t\u00eb Ungjillit.<\/span><\/p>\n Shtat\u00eb vitet q\u00eb kalova n\u00eb shkret\u00ebtir\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebn\u00eb periudh\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb favorshme p\u00ebr lutjen gjat\u00eb jet\u00ebs sime. M\u00eb kujtohet nj\u00eb her\u00eb kur kisha filluar lutjen zot\u00ebrore \u201cAti yn\u00eb\u201d, dhe shpirti im ra n\u00eb nj\u00eb shtangie t\u00eb lumur. S\u2019mund t\u00eb shkoja m\u00eb tej. Mendja ndaloi aty; gjith\u00e7ka heshti tek un\u00eb. Dhe tani me trishtim shkruaj p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb mrekullim, t\u00eb cilin e humba. N\u00eb nj\u00eb intensitet t\u00eb till\u00eb kjo ndodh vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb her\u00eb. Mos vall\u00eb ngaq\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebrja jon\u00eb trupore nuk mund t\u00eb mbaj\u00eb prekjet e p\u00ebrflakura t\u00eb lavdis\u00eb hyjnore?<\/span><\/p>\n Pas nj\u00eb far\u00eb kohe, di\u00e7ka e ngjashme m\u00eb ndodhi teksa th\u00ebrrisja Emrin e Jisu Krishtit. K\u00ebt\u00eb her\u00eb isha i detyruar ta nd\u00ebrprisja thirrjen e k\u00ebtij Emri; efekti i tij ishte tep\u00ebr i fuqish\u00ebm; shpirti m\u00eb mbeti pa fjal\u00eb dhe pa mendim, i mbushur me frik\u00ebn e af\u00ebrsis\u00eb s\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. At\u00ebher\u00eb p\u00ebr mua u \u00e7el misteri i prift\u00ebris\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n T\u00eb nes\u00ebrmen kremtoja Liturgjin\u00eb, dhe Krishti Per\u00ebndi ishte tek un\u00eb, dhe me mua, dhe jasht\u00eb meje, dhe n\u00eb misteret e shenjta t\u00eb Gjakut t\u00eb Tij dhe t\u00eb Trupit t\u00eb Tij. Emrat e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb dhe fjal\u00ebt e teksteve liturgjike m\u00eb dilnin nga goja si flak\u00eb. Q\u00ebndrova n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb gjendje p\u00ebr tri dit\u00eb, pastaj intensiteti i k\u00ebsaj p\u00ebrvoje u pak\u00ebsua. Por, si me ndihm\u00ebn e nj\u00eb dalte, Zoti skaliti kujtimin e saj n\u00eb mendjen dhe n\u00eb zemr\u00ebn time. Dhe e lus t\u00eb mos m\u00eb hedh\u00eb posht\u00eb n\u00eb koh\u00eb t\u00eb pleq\u00ebris\u00eb sime, dhe as n\u00eb dit\u00ebn e vdekjes sime (shih Ps. 70.9).<\/span><\/p>\n Apostull Pavli na porosit \u201ct\u00eb ecim denj\u00ebsisht n\u00eb thirrjen q\u00eb u thirr\u00ebm\u201d (Ef. 4.1). Po ku konsiston kjo thirrje? I japim p\u00ebrs\u00ebri fjal\u00ebn po k\u00ebtij apostulli: \u201cMua, m\u00eb t\u00eb voglit nga t\u00eb gjith\u00eb shenjtor\u00ebt m\u2019u dha ky hir t\u2019u ungjill\u00ebzoj […] pasurin\u00eb e pahetueshme t\u00eb Krishtit, dhe t\u2019i ndri\u00e7oj t\u00eb gjith\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb din\u00eb \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb plani i misterit t\u00eb fshehur q\u00eb prej jet\u00ebve prej Per\u00ebndis\u00eb […]. N\u00eb t\u00eb cilin kemi guximin dhe afrohemi te Per\u00ebndia me bindje dhe me an\u00eb t\u00eb besimit n\u00eb t\u00eb. […] Q\u00eb t\u00eb rr\u00ebnjosur e me themel n\u00eb dashuri t\u00eb mund t\u00eb kuptoni bashk\u00eb me gjith\u00eb shenjtor\u00ebt, \u00e7\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb gjer\u00ebsia dhe gjat\u00ebsia dhe thell\u00ebsia e lart\u00ebsia, edhe t\u00eb njihni dashurin\u00eb e Krishtit, e cila kap\u00ebrcen \u00e7do dituri, q\u00eb t\u00eb mbusheni me t\u00ebr\u00eb plot\u00ebsin\u00eb e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Edhe atij q\u00eb sipas fuqis\u00eb q\u00eb veprohet tek ne mund t\u00eb b\u00ebj\u00eb shum\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr nga gjith\u00eb sa k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb ose mendojm\u00eb, atij i qoft\u00eb lavdia […] n\u00eb gjith\u00eb brezat e jet\u00ebs s\u00eb jet\u00ebve!\u201d (Ef. 3).<\/span><\/p>\n Pra, thirrja dhe puna jon\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebhemi bij t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb At\u00eb – n\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet Birit t\u00eb tij t\u00eb vet\u00ebm e t\u00eb nj\u00ebqensh\u00ebm, pa fillim dhe t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm – dhe mbajt\u00ebsit e t\u00ebr\u00eb plot\u00ebsis\u00eb hyjnore (shih Jn. 16.27; 17.21-26).<\/span><\/p>\n Do t\u00eb vazhdoj duke p\u00ebrmendur disa ngjarje t\u00eb tjera, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilat isha i padenj\u00eb p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb jam. M\u00eb tep\u00ebr se nj\u00eb her\u00eb, m\u2019u dha t\u00eb sodisja Drit\u00ebn hyjnore. I mb\u00ebshtjell\u00eb brisht\u00ebsisht me t\u00eb, isha mbushur me nj\u00eb dashuri, e cila nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb nga kjo bot\u00eb. N\u00eb disa raste, bota e jashtme humbiste aspektin e saj material dhe b\u00ebhej e padukshme. Kjo q\u00eb m\u00eb ndodhte zbulonte nj\u00eb plan tjet\u00ebr t\u00eb qenies. Dhe pa e ditur se si, kur perceptimi i zakonsh\u00ebm i bot\u00ebs m\u00eb rikthehej, nj\u00eb trishtim delikat ma pushtonte shpirtin p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb kthimit tim n\u00eb jet\u00ebn trupore.<\/span><\/p>\n Ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb mendoja se do t\u00eb ishte e pamundur t\u00eb \u201ckthehesha\u201d. Nga e p\u00ebrkohshme, lutja mund t\u00eb b\u00ebhet gjendje e p\u00ebrjetshme e shpirtit. Vizioni i Drit\u00ebs lidhet ngusht\u00eb me hirin q\u00eb na ngjall. Gjithashtu, t\u00eb l\u00ebsh k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb till\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb bekim. E dim\u00eb nga jeta e sh\u00ebn Serafimit t\u00eb Sarovit q\u00eb fjeti n\u00eb \u00e7astin kur po lutej. N\u00eb fakt, shpirti la trupin, i cili ende nuk kishte vdekur; ai mbante n\u00eb dor\u00eb nj\u00eb qiri t\u00eb ndezur. \u201cE \u00e7muar \u00ebsht\u00eb para Zotit vdekja e osh\u00ebnar\u00ebve t\u00eb tij\u201d (Ps. 115.6). A nuk duhet q\u00eb edhe ne t\u00eb kalojm\u00eb p\u00ebrmes nj\u00eb vdekjeje t\u00eb till\u00eb kur t\u00eb braktisim k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb? \u201cMe t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb po ju them, se ai q\u00eb d\u00ebgjon fjal\u00ebn time, dhe i beson atij q\u00eb m\u00eb ka d\u00ebrguar, ka jet\u00eb t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme, dhe n\u00eb gjyq nuk vjen, por shkoi prej vdekjes n\u00eb jet\u00eb\u201d (Jn. 5.25). \u201cMe t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, me t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb po ju them, n\u00eb ruajtt\u00eb ndonj\u00eb fjal\u00ebn time, nuk do t\u00eb shoh\u00eb vdekjen p\u00ebr gjith\u00eb jet\u00ebn\u201d (Jn. 8.51).<\/span><\/p>\n Lutja \u00ebsht\u00eb energji e nj\u00eb lloji t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb shkrirja e dy veprimtarive: e jona (e krijuar) dhe ajo e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb (e pakrijuar). Si e till\u00eb, ajo vendoset nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb n\u00eb trup dhe jasht\u00eb tij, dhe madje jasht\u00eb k\u00ebsaj bote hap\u00ebsinore dhe kohore. Kur gjendemi n\u00eb frik\u00ebn e lumur p\u00ebrball\u00eb shenjt\u00ebris\u00eb s\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb dhe, n\u00eb t\u00eb nj\u00ebjt\u00ebn koh\u00eb, n\u00eb d\u00ebshp\u00ebrim p\u00ebr shkak t\u00eb padenj\u00ebsis\u00eb son\u00eb ekstreme para k\u00ebtij Per\u00ebndie, lutja b\u00ebhet nj\u00eb k\u00ebrcim i furish\u00ebm i shpirtit, duke shp\u00ebrthyer rrethin e ngusht\u00eb t\u00eb pesh\u00ebs materiale. Trupi q\u00eb na u dha duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebhet \u201cshpirt\u00ebror\u201d (shih I Kor. 15.44) dhe t\u00eb b\u00ebhet i aft\u00eb t\u00eb ndjek\u00eb shpirtin n\u00eb prirjen e tij finale. Trupi biologjik – \u201cmishi dhe gjaku\u201d – nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb ndjek\u00eb shpirtin n\u00eb v\u00ebrshimin e tij total drejt Per\u00ebndis\u00eb s\u00eb p\u00ebrjetsh\u00ebm (shih I Kor. 15.50). \u201cSepse jetesa jon\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb qiejt, q\u00eb ku edhe presim Shp\u00ebtimtarin, Zotin Jisu Krisht, i cili do t\u00eb shnd\u00ebrroj\u00eb trupin e p\u00ebruljes son\u00eb, q\u00eb t\u00eb b\u00ebhet n\u00eb nj\u00eb form\u00eb me trupin e lavdis\u00eb s\u00eb tij, sipas veprimit me t\u00eb cilin ai mund edhe t\u2019ia n\u00ebnshtroj\u00eb t\u00eb gjitha vetvetes\u201d (Fil. 3.20-21). \u201cQ\u00eb nga momenti q\u00eb jemi [shpirt\u00ebrisht] t\u00eb ngjallur me Krishtin, k\u00ebrkojm\u00eb [natyrsh\u00ebm] gj\u00ebrat q\u00eb lartazi [qiellore], atje ku ndodhet Krishti, i ulur n\u00eb t\u00eb djatht\u00eb t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb\u201d (shih Kol. 3.1).<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb vrullin e saj drejt Per\u00ebndis\u00eb son\u00eb dhe Atit t\u00eb shum\u00ebdashur, dhurata e lutjes nuk mund t\u00eb shuhet. P\u00ebrmes saj hyjm\u00eb n\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb qeni, e cila transhendon bot\u00ebn ton\u00eb, jo nga k\u00ebndv\u00ebshtrimi hap\u00ebsinor, por nga ai cil\u00ebsor. Pa u dehur nga imagjinata pjellore dhe as i t\u00ebrhequr nga filozofia racionaliste, shpirti k\u00ebrkon udh\u00eb atje ku nuk ka. Nj\u00eb intuit\u00eb e brend shme e ndez shpirtin e lidhur me prangat e padukshme, por ende t\u00eb pazgjidhura, t\u00eb \u201cligjit t\u00eb m\u00ebkatit\u201d; k\u00ebto mund t\u00eb shk\u00ebputen vet\u00ebm nga veprimi i t\u00eb T\u00ebr\u00ebfuqishmit, t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, Shp\u00ebtimtarit ton\u00eb, dhe jo me p\u00ebrpjekjet tona vetjake. Me \u00e7far\u00eb ikone ta paraqesim luft\u00ebn e shpirtit p\u00ebr \u00e7lirim? Ekziston nj\u00eb analogji me trupin, i cili, kur \u00ebsht\u00eb i pushtuar nga dhimbje t\u00eb padurueshme, shtremb\u00ebrohet i t\u00ebri nga p\u00ebrpjekja p\u00ebr t\u2019iu shmangur dhimbjes. Po ashtu, shpirti \u201ckridhet\u201d n\u00eb lutje dhe lot, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u00eb qet\u00ebsoj\u00eb vuajtjen e tij p\u00ebr t\u2019u bashkuar me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Zoti ka dhembshuri p\u00ebr ne dhe shpesh, Ai vjen menj\u00ebher\u00eb. Por ndodh edhe e kund\u00ebrta: gjith\u00eb thirrjet tona duken sikur humbasin n\u00eb zbraz\u00ebti. I projektuar n\u00eb pafund\u00ebsi, n\u00eb kuptimin e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb t\u00eb fjal\u00ebs shpirti gjendet i varur mbi gremin\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb i tmerruar, sepse Per\u00ebndia i duket jasht\u00ebzakonisht i paarritsh\u00ebm. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb jasht\u00eb gjith\u00e7kaje q\u00eb ekziston. Mendja nuk gjen asnj\u00eb fjal\u00eb q\u00eb do t\u00eb mund t\u00eb arrinte deri n\u00eb fronin e Tij \u201ct\u00eb larg\u00ebt\u201d. Pa fjal\u00eb, por me nj\u00eb britm\u00eb t\u00eb brendshme, shpirti lutet n\u00eb shkret\u00ebtir\u00ebn e bot\u00ebs. Sidoqoft\u00eb, diku n\u00eb thell\u00ebsit\u00eb e tij, fshihet shpresa… Reja e braktisjes nga Per\u00ebndia kalon, dhe p\u00ebrs\u00ebri ngrihet dielli.<\/span><\/p>\n Nga p\u00ebrvoja ime, mund t\u00eb them se ka dy lloje d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi. Nj\u00ebri \u00ebsht\u00eb krejt\u00ebsisht negativ: ai e vret njeriun, fillimisht shpirt\u00ebrisht dhe m\u00eb pas trup\u00ebrisht. Tjetri \u00ebsht\u00eb i bekuar: \u00ebsht\u00eb ai p\u00ebr t\u00eb cilin nuk pushoj s\u00eb foluri. N\u00ebp\u00ebrmjet k\u00ebtij d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi u ktheva n\u00eb jet\u00eb, n\u00eb Drit\u00eb. Nuk e kisha aspak t\u00eb leht\u00eb t\u00eb rr\u00ebfeja para njer\u00ebzve mir\u00ebdashjen q\u00eb i Shum\u00eblarti kishte shp\u00ebrndar\u00eb tek un\u00eb. Kurr\u00eb s\u2019e kisha kuptuar se p\u00ebrse ndodhte kjo gj\u00eb me mua, k\u00ebshtu si un\u00eb jam! Drita, e padukshme n\u00eb syt\u00eb e mi, si fillim m\u00eb mund\u00ebsoi t\u00eb shikoja ferrin tim t\u00eb brendsh\u00ebm, pastaj bot\u00ebn e krijuar, e gjitha e zhytur n\u00eb ekzistenc\u00eb kalimtare, e cila i n\u00ebnshtrohej vdekjes. P\u00ebr shum\u00eb koh\u00eb, e kam mbartur n\u00eb vetvete k\u00ebt\u00eb vizion t\u00eb friksh\u00ebm. Isha i shushatur nga absurditeti i k\u00ebsaj bote mbushur me sfilitje, t\u00eb cilat bluajn\u00eb \u00e7do jet\u00eb q\u00eb n\u00eb \u00e7astin kur kjo shfaqet. Po sado e \u00e7uditshme t\u00eb duket kjo, nj\u00eb jet\u00eb e re filloi t\u00eb gurgullonte tek un\u00eb. Lutja ma p\u00ebrmbytte zemr\u00ebn n\u00eb nj\u00eb rrjedh\u00eb t\u00eb pand\u00ebrprer\u00eb, duke rr\u00ebmbyer pas vetes mendjen, shpesh me nj\u00eb forc\u00eb q\u00eb sa vinte e rritej, ndonj\u00ebher\u00eb edhe me nj\u00eb fuqi t\u00eb till\u00eb sa ma shkulte shpirtin dhe e hidhte n\u00eb pafund\u00ebsin\u00eb e nj\u00eb hap\u00ebsire tjet\u00ebr, e ndryshme nga ajo q\u00eb dallojm\u00eb zakonisht. Nd\u00ebrkoh\u00eb isha i mpakur dhe nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht p\u00ebrjetoja eksperienc\u00ebn e pa\u00e7mueshme t\u00eb nj\u00eb vizioni t\u00eb zgjeruar t\u00eb bot\u00ebs, madje edhe nj\u00eb parashijim t\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n T\u00eb jesh vazhdimisht i nd\u00ebrgjegjsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr varf\u00ebrin\u00eb t\u00ebnde, \u00ebsht\u00eb tortur\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb; n\u00ebn k\u00ebt\u00eb r\u00ebndes\u00eb, edhe kockat t\u00eb thyhen… Gj\u00eb e habitshme, por kur ky shtr\u00ebngim i shenjt\u00eb dob\u00ebsohej, vdisja shpirt\u00ebrisht. Nuk e kuptoja natyr\u00ebn e k\u00ebtij fenomeni. Vet\u00ebm m\u00eb von\u00eb sh\u00ebn Siluani ma shpjegoi: \u201cZoti na edukon k\u00ebshtu, me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb t\u00eb mos e humbasim p\u00ebrul\u00ebsin\u00eb.\u201d At\u00ebher\u00eb kuptova pjes\u00ebrisht misterin e k\u00ebsaj udhe. Si artist, m\u00eb kishte ndodhur, n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn, t\u00eb kisha nj\u00eb ndjenj\u00eb triumfi, fitoreje, kur kisha \u201ckuptuar\u201d at\u00eb q\u00eb k\u00ebrkoja; kisha arritur pothuajse t\u00eb jepja bukurin\u00eb q\u00eb zbulohej para meje. Por ky entuziaz\u00ebm nuk zgjati shum\u00eb; p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, vuaja tej mase kur shikoja fajet e mia. E nj\u00ebjta gj\u00eb ndodh, madje edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb, me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb: Ai nuk na l\u00eb n\u00eb prehje. P\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast t\u00eb shkurt\u00ebr na ngush\u00ebllon shpirtin, prek me zjarrin e Tij zemr\u00ebn, e k\u00ebnaq mendjen deri n\u00eb vizionin e lavdis\u00eb s\u00eb Tij; pastaj, s\u00ebrish fshihet, q\u00eb t\u00eb mos mendojm\u00eb q\u00eb arrit\u00ebm ta njohim plot\u00ebsisht. Shorti yn\u00eb mbi tok\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb t\u00eb jemi \u201ct\u00eb varf\u00ebr n\u00eb frym\u00eb\u201d. Sapo e l\u00ebm\u00eb veten t\u00eb shkoj\u00eb n\u00eb prehjen e g\u00ebnjesht\u00ebrt, q\u00eb sjell p\u00eblqimi i vetes, menj\u00ebher\u00eb Fryma e jet\u00ebs q\u00eb buron nga Ati, na braktis.<\/span><\/p>\n Duke p\u00ebrjetuar k\u00ebto luhatje, kuptova struktur\u00ebn e \u201cporosive\u201d t\u00eb Lum\u00ebrimeve: n\u00eb thelb t\u00eb \u00e7do p\u00ebrparimi shpirt\u00ebror ndodhet ndjenja brengos\u00ebse e \u201cvarf\u00ebris\u00eb son\u00eb\u201d. Kjo vet\u00ebdije \u00ebsht\u00eb burim energjie p\u00ebr lutjen dhe, nj\u00ebkoh\u00ebsisht, hedh themelet e forta mbi t\u00eb cilat do t\u00eb ngrihet nd\u00ebrtesa e shp\u00ebtimit ton\u00eb, deri n\u00eb maj\u00ebn e saj. Pas k\u00ebsaj, do marrim \u201cnj\u00eb shp\u00ebrblim t\u00eb madh n\u00eb qiej\u201d (shih Matth. 5.3,12).<\/span><\/p>\n Po e n\u00ebnvizoj p\u00ebrs\u00ebri k\u00ebt\u00eb: Rr\u00ebnja e \u00e7do t\u00eb keqeje \u00ebsht\u00eb krenaria. N\u00eb t\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb vdekja dhe err\u00ebsira. Papasionshm\u00ebria e shenjt\u00eb – apathia – shoq\u00ebron p\u00ebrul\u00ebsin\u00eb, e cila e ul njeriun n\u00eb at\u00eb pik\u00eb sa t\u00eb ndihet \u201cm\u00eb posht\u00eb nga \u00e7do krijes\u00eb\u201d, por e lart\u00ebson n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pashpjegueshme mbi t\u00ebr\u00eb krijimin.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb jet\u00ebn sipas Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, asketi i krishter\u00eb nuk duhet t\u00eb krahasohet as me poet\u00eb, as me shkrimtar\u00eb, as me psikolog\u00eb, as me filozof\u00eb apo dijetar\u00eb. N\u00eb rrug\u00ebtimin e tij drejt Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, ai ec\u00ebn p\u00ebrpara, pa u kthyer te vetja. Ajo q\u00eb asketi jeton realisht gjat\u00eb lutjes, l\u00eb n\u00eb qenien e tij nj\u00eb gjurm\u00eb t\u00eb pashlyeshme, por pas nj\u00eb far\u00eb kohe do ta v\u00ebrej\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb, kur v\u00ebmendja e shpirtit t\u00eb tij do t\u00eb ndalet tek e kaluara. N\u00eb fillim t\u00eb asketizmit aspirata p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb arrin nj\u00eb forc\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb, sa i shtrir\u00eb n\u00eb ngaz\u00ebllimin e tij drejt t\u00eb Shum\u00eblartit, shpirti i njeriut kthehet vet\u00ebm drejt Tij. Duke e par\u00eb veten pashprehimisht larg nga e V\u00ebrteta q\u00eb k\u00ebrkon, shpirti q\u00eb pendohet b\u00ebhet t\u00ebr\u00ebsisht si nj\u00eb plag\u00eb e dhimbshme. I p\u00ebrgj\u00ebrohet Zotit – se e do me dashurin\u00eb e par\u00eb – t\u2019i d\u00ebshmoj\u00eb m\u00ebshir\u00ebn dhe p\u00eblqimin e Tij. Ndjenja e m\u00ebkatit, i cili ka shkat\u00ebrruar qenien ton\u00eb, hyjformon, ngjall keqardhje t\u00eb pap\u00ebrshkrueshme p\u00ebr gjendjen n\u00eb t\u00eb cil\u00ebn kemi qen\u00eb p\u00ebr kaq koh\u00eb dhe q\u00eb na b\u00ebri totalisht t\u00eb padenj\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb Shenjtin e t\u00eb shenjt\u00ebve. A mund t\u00eb m\u00eb pres\u00eb ky Zot mua q\u00eb jam krejt i korruptuar? N\u00eb nj\u00eb far\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb, shpirti gjendet si p\u00ebrpara Gjykimit t\u00eb fundit. Megjithat\u00eb, sa m\u00eb d\u00ebrrmuese t\u00eb jet\u00eb frika e vendimit, aq m\u00eb e dendur do t\u00eb jet\u00eb lutja e pendimit. N\u00eb or\u00ebt kur nuk jemi trup\u00ebrisht t\u00eb pranish\u00ebm para Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, por jepemi n\u00eb preokupimet e s\u00eb p\u00ebrditshmes, gatishm\u00ebria themelore e shpirtit ton\u00eb nuk ndryshon: me t\u00eb gjitha fuqit\u00eb shpirti priret drejt Per\u00ebndis\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb vitin tim t\u00eb pest\u00eb t\u00eb jet\u00ebs murg\u00ebrore, igumeni i manastirit t\u00eb Sh\u00ebn Pandeleimonit, arkimandrit Misaeli, m\u00eb thirri nj\u00eb dit\u00eb n\u00eb zyr\u00ebn e tij dhe m\u00eb caktoi si detyr\u00eb t\u00eb m\u00ebsoja greqisht, sepse manastiri kishte nevoj\u00eb p\u00ebr murgj q\u00eb dinin gjuh\u00ebn e vendit, e cila ishte po aq e nevojshme n\u00eb raportet me bot\u00ebn jasht\u00eb, sa edhe kishtare e civile. B\u00ebra p\u00ebrkuljen e zakonshme p\u00ebr t\u00eb marr\u00eb bekimin e tij para detyr\u00ebs q\u00eb m\u00eb priste. Sa arrita n\u00eb der\u00ebn e kabinetit t\u00eb tij t\u00eb pun\u00ebs, m\u00eb ndaloi dhe m\u00eb tha: \u201cAt\u00eb Sofroni, Per\u00ebndia nuk gjykon dy her\u00eb. N\u00ebse b\u00ebni k\u00ebt\u00eb q\u00eb ju them nga bindja, un\u00eb do t\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigjem para Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Nd\u00ebrsa ju, q\u00ebndroni n\u00eb paqe\u201d. Ai fliste me kok\u00ebn ulur mbi kraharor, si\u00e7 ndodh zakonisht kur lutemi; n\u00eb z\u00ebrin e tij reflektohej serioziteti q\u00eb i jepte fjal\u00ebs s\u00eb tij. Q\u00eb andej, u ktheva n\u00eb bibliotek\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u00eb k\u00ebrkuar librat e nevojsh\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb studiuar greqisht, pastaj u ktheva n\u00eb qelin\u00eb time. Duke hapur gramatik\u00ebn e dialektit t\u00eb Atik\u00ebs, e p\u00ebrqendroja v\u00ebmendjen spontanisht tek ato q\u00eb lexoja. Dhe \u00e7\u2019ndodhi? E ndieja fizikisht se si mendja e linte zemr\u00ebn p\u00ebr t\u2019u ngjitur deri n\u00eb pjes\u00ebn ballore t\u00eb kok\u00ebs dhe ndiqte l\u00ebvizjen e saj drejt librit. Po at\u00eb \u00e7ast, m\u2019u duk qart\u00eb se mendja q\u00ebndronte nat\u00eb e dit\u00eb n\u00eb zem\u00ebr, pa mundur t\u00eb dal\u00eb prej saj gjat\u00eb shtat\u00eb viteve t\u00eb lutjes s\u00eb pendimit. Kujtoja fjal\u00ebn e igumenit, dhe brenda vetes isha i qet\u00eb. E mundja dob\u00ebsin\u00eb fizike – ndon\u00ebse m\u00eb kishte minuar malaria – q\u00eb t\u00eb studioja p\u00ebrdit\u00eb greqisht, sa t\u00eb ishte e mundur. M\u00eb kujtohet nj\u00eb dit\u00eb tek b\u00ebja ushtrimet e mia dhe ndihesha i k\u00ebputur, m\u00eb erdhi ky mendim: \u201cN\u00ebse d\u00ebgjoj tani thirrjen e Gjykimit, \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb me mua?\u201d Thell\u00eb n\u00eb veten time isha i qet\u00eb: \u201cDo t\u00eb ngrihem dhe n\u00eb paqe do t\u00eb dal para Gjykimit t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb.\u201d E p\u00ebrmend tani k\u00ebt\u00eb reagim, sepse nuk ngjante aspak me m\u00ebnyr\u00ebn se si e prezantoja zakonisht shfaqjen time para Gjykimit, d.m.th. me frik\u00eb t\u00eb madhe. K\u00ebshtu, fal\u00eb lutjes s\u00eb igumenit, m\u2019u dha t\u00eb p\u00ebrjetoja nj\u00eb paqe t\u00eb till\u00eb. Detyra e re m\u00eb kishte privuar nga mund\u00ebsia p\u00ebr t\u2019u lutur si m\u00eb par\u00eb, por n\u00eb form\u00eb qet\u00ebsie, deri at\u00ebher\u00eb e panjohur, hiri nuk m\u2019u nda gjat\u00eb atyre muajve kur p\u00ebrpiqesha t\u00eb zot\u00ebroja gjuh\u00ebn greke. Pra Per\u00ebndia, nuk m\u00eb braktisi; as zemra ime nuk u nda prej Tij.<\/span><\/p>\n Muajt e studimit kaluan. N\u00eb mir\u00ebsin\u00eb e Tij Zoti m\u00eb dha p\u00ebrs\u00ebri lutjen \u201cd\u00ebshp\u00ebruese\u201d p\u00ebr pendim. Q\u00eb t\u00eb lindim m\u00eb Per\u00ebndin\u00eb, nevojitet t\u00eb na pushtoj\u00eb frika kur shikojm\u00eb veten si jemi, neveria p\u00ebr pasionin e turpsh\u00ebm dhe t\u00eb ndyr\u00eb t\u00eb krenaris\u00eb q\u00eb jeton tek ne dhe q\u00eb na kushtoi d\u00ebbimin fatkeq nga Mbret\u00ebria e Atit t\u00eb dritave. Sh\u00ebrohemi nga ky pasion duke ndjekur urdh\u00ebrimin e Krishtit: duaj Per\u00ebndin\u00eb deri n\u00eb urrejtjen e vetes (shih Lluk. 14.26). Ky aspekt i jet\u00ebs shpirt\u00ebrore t\u00eb t\u00eb krishterit \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb tem\u00eb jasht\u00ebzakonisht e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme dhe e di se s\u2019do mundem kurr\u00eb ta shteroj.<\/span><\/p>\n E quajta d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimin q\u00eb m\u00eb shtypte \u201cnj\u00eb dhurat\u00eb q\u00eb lartazi\u201d. Por kjo ndodhi pas 30 vjet\u00ebsh luft\u00eb – ndoshta edhe m\u00eb shum\u00eb – q\u00eb u nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsova p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb. Nuk k\u00ebrkoja ndihm\u00ebn e njer\u00ebzve, sepse isha si gjethe e fishkur e marr\u00eb nga era, q\u00eb m\u00eb b\u00ebnte t\u00eb sillesha v\u00ebrdall\u00eb pa m\u00eb siguruar \u00e7el\u00ebsin e asaj q\u00eb po m\u00eb ndodhte. Nuk kuptoja asgj\u00eb; s\u2019mund t\u00eb pyesja ask\u00ebnd, duke mos ditur as se si ta formuloja pyetjen time. Qenia kozmike zbulohej si uragan n\u00eb mendjen time, me nj\u00eb shpejt\u00ebsi t\u00eb till\u00eb sa arsyeja s\u2019mund t\u00eb fiksohej n\u00eb asgj\u00eb. Kjo i ngjante marr\u00ebzis\u00eb, por nj\u00eb marr\u00ebzie t\u00eb nj\u00eb natyre t\u00eb ve\u00e7ant\u00eb, p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebn nuk p\u00ebrgjigjej psikiatria. Procesi i largimit tim nga bota kishte filluar. Di\u00e7ka ishte nd\u00ebrfutur mes meje dhe t\u00eb tjer\u00ebve; kisha humbur \u00e7do interes p\u00ebr t\u00eb komunikuar dhe pak nga pak, gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb lidhte me ta u zhduk. Bota e artit – piktura, muzika, poezia, let\u00ebrsia, teatri, etj., – gjith\u00e7ka q\u00eb m\u00eb par\u00eb kishte qen\u00eb p\u00ebrmbajtja kryesore dhe kuptimi i ekzistenc\u00ebs sime u zbeh dhe nisi t\u00eb m\u00eb shfaqej m\u00eb pak e r\u00ebnd\u00ebsishme, madje si arg\u00ebtim f\u00ebmij\u00ebror. Por s\u2019ishte e thjesht\u00eb. N\u00eb vitet e para, isha shpesh n\u00eb agoni, i ndar\u00eb mes dy qendrash interesi: pasioni i piktur\u00ebs dhe lutja. Vazhdoi k\u00ebshtu derisa lutja triumfoi mbi \u00e7do aktivitet tjet\u00ebr n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb bot\u00eb. Q\u00eb at\u00ebher\u00eb, vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb pun\u00eb llogarisja: t\u00eb gjeja Per\u00ebndin\u00eb e v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, d.m.th. Krijuesin e \u00e7do qenieje, dhe t\u00eb jetoja p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsisht me T\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n A nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb \u00e7menduri p\u00ebr nj\u00eb njeri si un\u00eb t\u00eb ushqej\u00eb t\u00eb till\u00eb guxim? Me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb aspak e leht\u00eb dhe e thjesht\u00eb. \u00cbsht\u00eb tejet i madh p\u00ebr ne. Ai \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201czjarr q\u00eb p\u00ebrpin\u201d, Drit\u00eb e paarritshme. Erdhi t\u00eb hedh\u00eb mbi tok\u00eb zjarrin e Tij q\u00eb djeg zemrat tona. Ve\u00e7 k\u00ebsaj, edhe un\u00eb jam vep\u00ebr e duarve t\u00eb Tij. Ai e veshi mishin ton\u00eb me q\u00ebllim q\u00eb fal\u00eb k\u00ebsaj mbulese, t\u00eb mund t\u2019i mbajm\u00eb shikimet tona mbi T\u00eb. Prej k\u00ebtej vjen nj\u00eb shpres\u00eb p\u00ebrtej \u00e7do d\u00ebshp\u00ebrimi. \u201cKini zem\u00ebr!\u201d, tha ai (shih Jn. 16.33). Mendoj se shfaqja e k\u00ebtij zjarri p\u00ebrbrenda nesh sh\u00ebnon ardhjen e frym\u00ebs s\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb hyjnore tek ne. Po p\u00ebr k\u00ebt\u00eb tem\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb th\u00ebn\u00eb: \u201cSepse asgj\u00eb s\u2019\u00ebsht\u00eb e pamundur p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb. […] Po, lum ajo q\u00eb besoi, se do t\u00eb p\u00ebrmbushen tek ajo \u00e7\u2019jan\u00eb folur prej Zotit\u201d (Lluk. 1.37-45).<\/span><\/p>\n Pasi njoha te vetja ndryshueshm\u00ebrin\u00eb e natyr\u00ebs njer\u00ebzore, jetoj pa pushim me frik\u00eb. Kjo frik\u00eb quhet \u201cfrik\u00eb Per\u00ebndie\u201d, dhe nuk ngjan me frik\u00ebn shtazore. Ajo p\u00ebrfshin urt\u00ebsi dhe njohje, dashuri dhe fuqi. Por takimi me Per\u00ebndin\u00eb – q\u00eb ne nuk jemi n\u00eb gjendje ta mbajm\u00eb dhe q\u00eb nuk ka se si t\u00eb mos e duam – na b\u00ebn t\u00eb nd\u00ebrgjegj\u00ebsohemi se jemi, pa e p\u00ebrshkruar dot, larg asaj q\u00eb ndodhet para nesh si q\u00ebllimi i shenjt\u00eb dhe kuptimi i gjith\u00eb qenies son\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n Pas Dark\u00ebs Mistike, Petroja deklaroi me forc\u00eb: \u201cEdhe n\u00eb u skandalizofshin t\u00eb gjith\u00eb p\u00ebr ty, un\u00eb nuk do t\u00eb skandalizohem kurr\u00eb.\u201d E dim\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb se \u00e7\u2019ndodhi menj\u00ebher\u00eb pas k\u00ebtij rr\u00ebfimi: \u201cEdhe Petros i ra nd\u00ebr mend fjala e Jisuit q\u00eb i pati th\u00ebn\u00eb se para se t\u00eb k\u00ebndoj\u00eb k\u00ebndesi, tri her\u00eb do t\u00eb m\u00eb mohosh; dhe doli jasht\u00eb dhe qau hidhur\u201d (Matth. 26.33-75).<\/span><\/p>\n \u00cbsht\u00eb shkruar: \u201cFrik\u00eb nuk ka n\u00eb dashuri. […] Ai q\u00eb ka frik\u00eb nuk \u00ebsht\u00eb i p\u00ebrsosur n\u00eb dashuri\u201d (I Jn. 4.18). E di se nuk kam arritur n\u00eb dashurin\u00eb e p\u00ebrsosur, por kjo nuk e p\u00ebrjashton faktin q\u00eb edhe un\u00eb gjithashtu, e dua Per\u00ebndin\u00eb. Dhe pik\u00ebrisht, kjo dashuri m\u00eb ngjall frik\u00ebn se mos gjendem i padenj\u00eb p\u00ebr nj\u00eb p\u00ebrgjigje t\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. Dhe kockat m\u00eb d\u00ebrrmohen kur shikoj brenda vetes qoft\u00eb edhe hezitimet m\u00eb t\u00eb vogla. Kur isha n\u00eb Athos, s\u2019mbaj mend asnj\u00ebher\u00eb t\u2019i jet\u00eb afruar mendjes apo zemr\u00ebs sime dyshimi. Sidoqoft\u00eb, kur u ktheva n\u00eb Evrop\u00eb, duke pasur kontakt me njer\u00ebz q\u00eb kishin frym\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, ndieja energjin\u00eb q\u00eb dilte prej tyre. E ngjashme me nj\u00eb er\u00eb t\u00eb akullt, kjo energji ma shtr\u00ebngonte zemr\u00ebn pa m\u00eb p\u00eblqyer dhe ma turbullonte disi mendjen. E huaj p\u00ebr frym\u00ebn e Krishtit, ajo m\u00eb prishte p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast paqen e brendshme dhe m\u00eb provokonte n\u00eb shpirt nj\u00eb far\u00eb konflikti. Mir\u00ebpo, ajo q\u00eb kisha njohur n\u00eb shkret\u00ebtir\u00eb nga dhuntia q\u00eb mora q\u00eb lartazi n\u00eb lutjen e dashuris\u00eb, triumfoi mbi ndikimet negative t\u00eb rast\u00ebsishme: \u201cSepse ligji i Shpirtit t\u00eb jet\u00ebs n\u00eb Jisu Krishtin m\u00eb \u00e7liroi edhe mua\u201d (shih Rom. 8.2) prej pushtetit t\u00eb frym\u00ebs s\u00eb k\u00ebsaj bote.<\/span><\/p>\n Petroja u ngrit p\u00ebrs\u00ebri, po un\u00eb, a mund t\u00eb jem i sigurt p\u00ebr veten? P\u00ebr sa koh\u00eb q\u00eb zemra ndien pranin\u00eb e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb, jemi n\u00eb paqe dhe n\u00eb g\u00ebzim fal\u00eb dashuris\u00eb son\u00eb p\u00ebr T\u00eb. Por kur Ai t\u00ebrhiqet dhe nuk e ndiej m\u00eb t\u00eb veproj\u00eb tek un\u00eb, vet\u00ebdija p\u00ebr dob\u00ebsin\u00eb time m\u00eb hidh\u00ebron p\u00ebrs\u00ebri dhe m\u00eb b\u00ebn t\u00eb vuaj. N\u00eb nj\u00eb mas\u00eb apo n\u00eb nj\u00eb tjet\u00ebr, asketizmi i kryqit m\u00eb shoq\u00ebron deri n\u00eb pleq\u00ebri. M\u00eb duket se kam njohur \u201cmas\u00ebn\u201d e njeriut, dhe kjo njohje m\u00eb lejon t\u00eb ndihem i lir\u00eb gjat\u00eb takimeve t\u00eb mia me k\u00ebdo. Por n\u00eb t\u00eb kaluar\u00ebn, kam takuar edhe forca t\u00eb tjera, shum\u00eb m\u00eb tep\u00ebr t\u00eb fuqishme n\u00eb krahasim me vog\u00eblsin\u00eb time. N\u00eb k\u00ebto momente terrorizuese, kam shp\u00ebtuar me Emrin e Jisu Krishtit. Lutem t\u00eb jet\u00eb k\u00ebshtu p\u00ebr mua deri n\u00eb fund, p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsisht.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb or\u00ebt kur Per\u00ebndia na \u201cbraktis\u201d nga Providenca e Tij, nj\u00eb lutje e zjarrt\u00eb buron nga ne; i rr\u00ebmbyer prej saj, shpirti njeh me g\u00ebzim af\u00ebrsin\u00eb e tij me Krishtin; ngjashm\u00ebria me T\u00eb rritet. Zoti na krijoi sipas ikon\u00ebs s\u00eb Tij; prandaj b\u00ebhemi zot\u00ebr n\u00eb T\u00eb. T\u00eb fuqizuar nga fuqia e tij, shikojm\u00eb t\u00eb keqen n\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb format e saj n\u00eb bot\u00eb, por kjo e keqe e humb pushtetin e saj tek ne. K\u00ebtu konsiston \u201ct\u00eb qen\u00ebt zot\u201d, i domosdosh\u00ebm p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb n\u00eb \u201cMbret\u00ebrin\u00eb e pal\u00ebkundur\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cEdhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb, do t\u00eb tund jo vet\u00ebm tok\u00ebn, por edhe qiellin. Kjo \u201cedhe nj\u00eb her\u00eb\u201d tregon se gj\u00ebrat e l\u00ebkundshme do t\u00eb ndryshojn\u00eb, p\u00ebrderisa k\u00ebto jan\u00eb realitete t\u00eb krijuara, q\u00eb t\u00eb rrojn\u00eb ato q\u00eb jan\u00eb t\u00eb pal\u00ebkundshme\u201d (Hebr. 12.26-27). Nuk e dim\u00eb se cil\u00ebs prov\u00eb p\u00ebrfundimtare do t\u2019i n\u00ebnshtrohet krijimi. Nj\u00eb frik\u00eb e p\u00ebrulur na nevojitet p\u00ebr sa koh\u00eb nuk i kemi kap\u00ebrcyer pragjet e k\u00ebsaj bote t\u00eb krijuar dhe q\u00eb nuk jemi mbushur me jet\u00ebn e pakrijuar q\u00eb rrjedh nga Per\u00ebndia.<\/span><\/p>\n Kisha m\u00ebson se Jisu Krishti mori mbi vete m\u00ebkatet e gjith\u00eb bot\u00ebs. Ai q\u00eb i lutet Krishtit \u201cball\u00eb p\u00ebr ball\u00eb\u201d, n\u00eb frym\u00eb, merr prej Tij \u201cmendimet dhe ndjenjat\u201d (shih Fil. 2.5) q\u00eb jan\u00eb n\u00eb t\u00eb. Dhe jo vet\u00ebm mendimet dhe ndjenjat, por edhe lutjen, si lutjen e Tij n\u00eb Gjethsemani. Kjo \u00ebsht\u00eb ajo q\u00eb ne e quajm\u00eb \u201clutje hipostatike\u201d.<\/span><\/p>\n Kushdo q\u00eb lutet n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb hyn n\u00eb planin e jet\u00ebs hyjnore. K\u00ebshtu ndodh para se vet\u00eb lutja t\u00eb ket\u00eb arritur forc\u00ebn e saj t\u00eb plot\u00eb, para se t\u00eb ket\u00eb mb\u00ebrritur n\u00eb nj\u00eb thell\u00ebsi ku shoq\u00ebrohet me lot\u00ebt q\u00eb derdhim p\u00ebr veten, ndoshta edhe lot m\u00eb t\u00eb hidhur. Sh\u00ebn Siluani shkruante se lutej p\u00ebr ata q\u00eb ishin t\u00eb ndar\u00eb nga Per\u00ebndia m\u00eb me fuqi se p\u00ebr veten.<\/span><\/p>\n Krishti Per\u00ebndi \u00ebsht\u00eb i pafund n\u00eb fuqin\u00eb e Tij; Fryma e Tij mbush t\u00ebr\u00eb humnerat. Gjithashtu, nuk mund ta arrijm\u00eb At\u00eb n\u00eb \u201czbrazjen\u201d e Vet. Kur q\u00ebndrojm\u00eb para Per\u00ebndis\u00eb n\u00eb heshtje, t\u00eb zhveshur nga \u00e7do imazh, n\u00eb nj\u00eb lakuriq\u00ebsi radikale t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00ebsis\u00eb s\u00eb qenies son\u00eb, na zbulohen edhe ne thell\u00ebsit\u00eb e natyr\u00ebs son\u00eb. Nj\u00eb p\u00ebr- qendrim ekstrem – nj\u00eb mbledhje e gjith\u00e7kaje q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb brenda nesh, t\u00eb asaj q\u00eb p\u00ebrb\u00ebn personalitetin ton\u00eb – na lejon t\u00eb shikojm\u00eb q\u00eb, n\u00eb burimin dhe natyr\u00ebn e saj, qenia e mbar\u00eb njer\u00ebzimit \u00ebsht\u00eb nj\u00eb qenie e vetme, p\u00ebrb\u00ebn nj\u00eb Njeri t\u00eb vet\u00ebm. Prej k\u00ebtej vjen edhe prirja \u201ce natyrshme\u201d e shpirtit ton\u00eb p\u00ebr t\u2019u lutur p\u00ebr t\u00ebr\u00eb njer\u00ebzit, p\u00ebr Adamin e t\u00ebr\u00eb, si p\u00ebr veten ton\u00eb. Prej k\u00ebtej vjen gjithashtu edhe kuptimi i fjal\u00ebve t\u00eb Krishtit: \u201cQ\u00eb t\u00eb gjith\u00eb t\u00eb jen\u00eb nj\u00eb si ne jemi nj\u00eb\u201d (shih Jn. 17.21-23).<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb lutjen e pendimit p\u00ebr m\u00ebkatet tona, m\u00ebsojm\u00eb t\u00eb jetojm\u00eb brenda nesh tragjedin\u00eb e t\u00ebr\u00eb njer\u00ebzimit. N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se mang\u00ebsit\u00eb e mia t\u00eb shumta, n\u00eb \u00e7do moment, m\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb t\u00eb vuaj kaq shum\u00eb me t\u00ebr\u00eb qenien time, n\u00ebse mbrapa gjith\u00eb r\u00ebnieve t\u00eb mia fshihet r\u00ebnia fillestare e t\u00eb par\u00ebve tan\u00eb – r\u00ebnie q\u00eb e shk\u00ebput mbar\u00eb njer\u00ebzimin nga Per\u00ebndia dhe Ati – \u00ebsht\u00eb e natyrshme q\u00eb ekzistencialisht t\u00eb njoh n\u00eb vuajtjet e mia personale vuajtjet e t\u00ebr\u00eb njer\u00ebzve. Por mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb dhe e kund\u00ebrta: t\u00eb shikoj n\u00eb g\u00ebzimet e mia ato t\u00eb mbar\u00eb rruzullit. K\u00ebshtu m\u00ebson i krishteri t\u00eb vuaj\u00eb bashk\u00eb me ata q\u00eb vuajn\u00eb, t\u00eb g\u00ebzohet me ata q\u00eb g\u00ebzohen.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb qoft\u00eb se n\u00eb esenc\u00ebn e tij t\u00eb thell\u00eb, m\u00ebkati \u00ebsht\u00eb p\u00ebrher\u00eb nj\u00eb krim kund\u00ebr dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb Atit, dashuria e thyer mund t\u00eb restaurohet krejt\u00ebsisht vet\u00ebm me pendim t\u00eb plot\u00eb. Vet\u00ebm nj\u00eb pendim i k\u00ebsaj natyre mund t\u00eb na zbuloj\u00eb, n\u00ebse \u00ebsht\u00eb e mundur dhe plot\u00ebsisht, se \u00e7\u2019do t\u00eb thot\u00eb kjo shkelje kur e zhvendosim n\u00eb planin e p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n At\u00eb i mir\u00eb, sh\u00ebrom\u00eb, se jam nj\u00eb i lebrosur. Rip\u00ebrt\u00ebrim\u00eb, se jam prishur nga m\u00ebkati. At\u00eb i shenjt\u00eb, shenjt\u00ebrom\u00eb mua t\u00eb t\u00ebr\u00eb: mendjen, zemr\u00ebn dhe trupin tim. M\u00ebkatova p\u00ebrpara teje, dhe tani po vdes i ndar\u00eb nga ti. Pranom\u00eb sipas madh\u00ebshtis\u00eb dhe dhembshuris\u00eb, dhe m\u00ebshir\u00ebs sate.<\/span><\/p>\n Lutesha pa krijuar asnj\u00eb imazh mendor apo vizual. Shpirti im u nda nga gjith\u00e7ka kalimtare p\u00ebr t\u2019u p\u00ebrqendruar me t\u00eb gjitha forcat te Per\u00ebndia im i vet\u00ebm. N\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb pashpjegueshme, kjo munges\u00eb e plot\u00eb e formave vizuale ose e koncepteve abstrakte – sikur t\u00eb kishte pushuar gjith\u00e7ka tek un\u00eb, ndon\u00ebse isha plot gjall\u00ebri dhe energji – shnd\u00ebrrohej pak nga pak n\u00eb njohje t\u00eb qenies, kur kthehesha n\u00eb gjendjen time normale t\u00eb perceptimit.<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb vet\u00eb at\u00eb, vizioni \u00ebsht\u00eb pa dimension, si jasht\u00eb hap\u00ebsir\u00ebs; gjith\u00e7ka ishte e p\u00ebrqendruar atje, si n\u00eb maj\u00ebn e nj\u00eb gjilp\u00ebre me kok\u00eb. Por n\u00ebse do p\u00ebrpiqeshim ta shprehnim me fjal\u00eb njohjen e perceptuar n\u00eb ato mo mente, gjendemi p\u00ebrball\u00eb nj\u00eb hap\u00ebsire po aq t\u00eb gjer\u00eb sa oqeani. Do p\u00ebrpiqem sadopak t\u00eb formuloj shkurtimisht disa mendime n\u00eb lidhje me k\u00ebt\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n \u00c7do krijes\u00eb e pajisur me arsye l\u00ebkundet mes dy ekstremeve: dashuria p\u00ebr Per\u00ebndin\u00eb n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e urrejtjes s\u00eb vetes, dashuria p\u00ebr veten n\u00eb pik\u00ebn e urrejtjes s\u00eb Per\u00ebndis\u00eb. T\u00eb urresh Per\u00ebndin\u00eb, do t\u00eb thot\u00eb t\u00eb shk\u00ebputesh, t\u00eb largohesh prej Tij. Kjo \u201currejtje\u201d nuk lidhet me \u00e7do kusht me nj\u00eb emocion t\u00eb zemr\u00ebs, megjith\u00ebse edhe kjo mund t\u00eb ndodh\u00eb. Urrejtja mund t\u00eb jet\u00eb nj\u00eb vendim i ftoht\u00eb i mendjes – i mendjes \u201cs\u00eb ndri\u00e7uar\u201d, si\u00e7 do t\u00eb thoshin disa p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebt realiteti mbetet i fshehur dhe p\u00ebr t\u00eb cil\u00ebt \u201cdrita\u201d natyrsh\u00ebm mund t\u00eb evoluoj\u00eb deri n\u00eb shkall\u00ebn ku jeta mungon.<\/span><\/p>\n Mes k\u00ebtyre dy poleve, ekzistojn\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb nd\u00ebmjetme. N\u00eb mes, gjejm\u00eb mas\u00ebn m\u00eb t\u00eb madhe t\u00eb shpirtrave inert\u00eb, t\u00eb cil\u00ebt nuk kan\u00eb njohje t\u00eb qart\u00eb t\u00eb ekzistenc\u00ebs s\u00eb tyre, dhe as nj\u00eb orientim t\u00eb p\u00ebrcaktuar. Por sa m\u00eb shum\u00eb i afrohemi limiteve, aq m\u00eb shum\u00eb vrulli i shpirtit b\u00ebhet dinamik dhe m\u00eb tep\u00ebr shtyhemi t\u00eb b\u00ebjm\u00eb nj\u00eb zgjidhje p\u00ebrfundimtare. Secili do t\u00eb zgjedh\u00eb at\u00eb q\u00eb do m\u00eb shum\u00eb.<\/span><\/p>\n T\u2019u afrohesh, n\u00eb mendje, kufijve t\u00eb fundit nuk do t\u00eb thot\u00eb ende t\u00eb kap\u00ebrcesh pragun e s\u00eb p\u00ebrkohshmes p\u00ebr t\u00eb hyr\u00eb n\u00eb territorin e Qenies s\u00eb p\u00ebrjetshme. Ashtu si eksperienca shekullore e asket\u00ebve edhe Zbulesa afirmojn\u00eb se fryma e krijuar mund t\u00eb mohoj\u00eb q\u00ebllimin n\u00eb t\u00eb cilin tashm\u00eb ka arritur, pastaj si nj\u00eb vet\u00ebtim\u00eb (shih Lluk. 10.18), t\u00eb kap\u00ebrcej\u00eb humner\u00ebn dhe t\u00eb ngulet n\u00eb bregun e kund\u00ebrt.<\/span><\/p>\n Individ\u00eb t\u00eb izoluar, si dhe shumica t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb m\u00ebdha, mund t\u00eb refuzojn\u00eb Qenien e vetme t\u00eb v\u00ebrtet\u00eb, UN\u00cb JAM AI Q\u00cb JAM (Eks. 3.14).<\/span><\/p>\n N\u00eb planin shpirt\u00ebror, Per\u00ebndia nuk ka fiksuar kufij p\u00ebr t\u00eb gjith\u00eb – \u201cGjith\u00e7ka m\u00eb lejohet…\u201d – por ne nuk duhet ta lejojm\u00eb veten t\u00eb sundohet prej ndonj\u00eb gj\u00ebje (shih I Kor. 6.12). N\u00ebse njeriu nuk do pajisej m\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb liri, nuk b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr hyjnizim. I krijuar sipas ikon\u00ebs s\u00eb t\u00eb Shum\u00eblartit, njeriu nuk mund t\u2019i n\u00ebnshtrohet asnj\u00eb determinizmi kur b\u00ebhet fjal\u00eb p\u00ebr vet\u00ebp\u00ebrcaktimin m\u00eb t\u00eb lart\u00eb shpirt\u00ebror p\u00ebr p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsin\u00eb. Per\u00ebndia na zbulohet si Drit\u00eb dhe \u201cn\u00eb T\u00eb s\u2019ka aspak err\u00ebsir\u00eb\u201d (I Jn. 1.5). E tregoi vet\u00eb se na do \u201cderi n\u00eb fund\u201d (Jn. 13.1). Por nuk na imponohet. Varet nga ne n\u00ebse e pranojm\u00eb ose e hedhim dhurat\u00ebn e Tij t\u00eb dashuris\u00eb, jo vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr sa koh\u00eb jemi ende n\u00eb k\u00ebt\u00eb jet\u00eb, por dhe m\u00eb n\u00eb ve\u00e7anti, n\u00eb p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsi. Jemi thirrur n\u00eb jet\u00ebn e p\u00ebrjetshme, n\u00eb Mbret\u00ebrin\u00eb e Atit ton\u00eb q\u00eb \u00ebsht\u00eb n\u00eb qiej. Por p\u00ebr qeniet e krijuara, t\u00eb hysh n\u00eb Mbret\u00ebri p\u00ebrfshin n\u00eb m\u00ebnyr\u00eb t\u00eb paevitueshme vuajtje t\u00eb m\u00ebdha. Shum\u00eb nuk e pranojn\u00eb dhurat\u00ebn e dashuris\u00eb s\u00eb Atit, pik\u00ebrisht sepse asimilimi i saj k\u00ebrkon p\u00ebrpjekje ekstreme. Sa her\u00eb kam th\u00ebn\u00eb me vete: \u201cOh, jo! N\u00ebse ka k\u00ebt\u00eb \u00e7mim, nuk e dua k\u00ebt\u00eb dhurat\u00eb!\u201d Por t\u00eb fuqishme jan\u00eb \u201cduart e Per\u00ebndis\u00eb s\u00eb gjall\u00eb\u201d dhe \u201c\u00ebsht\u00eb gj\u00eb e frikshme t\u00eb biesh n\u00eb to\u201d (shih Hebr. 10.31). Ai vuri vul\u00ebn e Tij n\u00eb zemr\u00ebn time dhe dashuria ime p\u00ebr T\u00eb ishte m\u00eb e fuqishme se vdekja. Mjaftonte vet\u00ebm p\u00ebr nj\u00eb \u00e7ast kur \u00ebnd\u00ebrroja t\u00eb ndahesha prej Tij, q\u00eb t\u00eb gjendesha i zhytur n\u00eb err\u00ebsirat e dendura. E shikoja se po t\u00eb largohesha prej Tij do t\u00eb qe vdekje (shih Jn. 6. 68). Jeta shpalosej vet\u00ebm p\u00ebrpara, n\u00eb luft\u00eb trup me trup. Sh\u00ebn Siluani m\u00eb shpjegoi se ata q\u00eb vuajn\u00eb nga krenaria duhet t\u00eb b\u00ebjn\u00eb nj\u00eb betej\u00eb t\u00eb ashp\u00ebr. Megjithat\u00eb, dhimbjet e p\u00ebrpjekjes m\u00eb treguan se, t\u00eb pranoja vullnetarisht luft\u00ebn, do t\u00eb thoshte se isha i lir\u00eb. Vet\u00eb vuajtjet ishin sprov\u00eb e mjaftueshme e liris\u00eb son\u00eb si qenie t\u00eb arsyeshme q\u00eb jemi. U b\u00eb plot\u00ebsisht e qart\u00eb p\u00ebr mua se Mbret\u00ebria s\u2019mund t\u00eb pushtohej ve\u00e7se \u201cme dhun\u00eb\u201d (shih Matth. 11.12) dhe se un\u00eb duhet t\u00eb ecja n\u00eb udh\u00ebn q\u00eb e b\u00ebn njeriun t\u00eb ngjash\u00ebm me Krishtin, i cili \u00ebsht\u00eb \u201cUdha\u201d (Jn. 14.6).<\/span><\/p>\n \u201cJisui i thot\u00eb: Kaq koh\u00eb jam bashk\u00eb me ju dhe s\u2019m\u00eb ke njohur, o Filip?\u201d (Jn. 14.9). Maria Magdalena \u201cu kthye prapa dhe v\u00eb re Jisuin duke ndenjur, dhe nuk e dinte se \u00ebsht\u00eb Jisui. Jisui i tha asaj: Grua, pse qan? Cilin k\u00ebrkon? Po ajo duke pandehur se \u00ebsht\u00eb kopshtari, i thot\u00eb: Zot, n\u00eb e ngrite ti, thuam\u00eb ku e ke v\u00ebn\u00eb, dhe un\u00eb do ta ngre at\u00eb. Jisui i thot\u00eb asaj: Maria! Ajo kthehet e i thot\u00eb: Rabuni! Q\u00eb do me th\u00ebn\u00eb M\u00ebsues\u201d (Jn. 20.14-16). N\u00eb rrug\u00ebn p\u00ebr n\u00eb Emaus, Llukai dhe Kleopa nuk e njoh\u00ebn Jisuin tek ai q\u00eb iu afrua; vet\u00ebm kur \u201cAi theu buk\u00ebn\u201d dhe ua dha, \u201csyt\u00eb e tyre u hap\u00ebn dhe e njoh\u00ebn (Lluk. 24.31). Di\u00e7ka e ngjashme mund t\u00eb na ndodh\u00eb edhe ne: Ai do t\u00eb na afrohet, do t\u00eb flas\u00eb me ne, por ne s\u2019do ta njohim At\u00eb, Per\u00ebndin\u00eb ton\u00eb t\u00eb madh – i madh, por i but\u00eb dhe i p\u00ebrulur pa mas\u00eb. Dhe kur t\u00eb vij\u00eb \u00e7asti q\u00eb ta njohim, shpirti yn\u00eb do ta doj\u00eb dhe frym\u00ebzimi q\u00eb lind nga kjo njohje do t\u00eb na mbush\u00eb me lumturi dhe ky frym\u00ebzim nuk do t\u00eb na l\u00ebr\u00eb kurr\u00eb. Mund t\u00eb kalojm\u00eb p\u00ebrmes sprovave t\u00eb shum\u00ebllojshme dhe gjendjesh t\u00eb dhimbshme, por ky frym\u00ebzim i mrekulluesh\u00ebm do t\u00eb jet\u00eb p\u00ebrgjithmon\u00eb me ne: her\u00eb si paqe e \u00ebmb\u00ebl, her\u00eb si flak\u00eb e zjarrt\u00eb, her\u00eb si batic\u00eb mendimesh t\u00eb shndritshme, her\u00eb si lot g\u00ebzimi gjat\u00eb lutjes, dhe si shum\u00eb gj\u00ebra t\u00eb tjera t\u00eb ngjashme. N\u00eb bot\u00eb, s\u2019ekziston ndonj\u00eb gj\u00eb e k\u00ebtill\u00eb, p\u00ebrve\u00e7 asaj q\u00eb buron prej Vet\u00eb Atij.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" LUTJA, UDHA DREJT NJOHJES Lutja, p\u00ebrvoj\u00eb e p\u00ebrjet\u00ebsis\u00eb Arkimandrit Sofroni \u201cO Per\u00ebndi, ti e njeh marr\u00ebzin\u00eb time, dhe fajet e mia nuk t\u00eb jan\u00eb fshehur\u201d (Ps. 68.6). Tani jetoj n\u00eb gjendje t\u00eb rr\u00ebnuar, por ti, o Krisht, m\u00eb th\u00ebrret t\u00eb besoj e t\u00eb pranoj zbules\u00ebn q\u00eb Ati na do, si\u00e7 t\u00eb do ty, Biri i tij i vet\u00ebm: \u201cSe vet\u00eb Ati ju<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"pagelayer_contact_templates":[],"_pagelayer_content":"","inline_featured_image":false,"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[112],"tags":[610,609,611],"class_list":["post-5736","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-materiale-shpirterore-d72","tag-lutja","tag-materiale-shpirterore","tag-pervoje-e-perjetesise"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\n
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